Because Of You
by RocketSkates
Summary: Old fic back from the dead as requested by cherryflavour. Ace/Cobras/Chris/Gordie/Teddy/Vern & a girl who doesn't want to be romantically involved with any of them.
1. Chapter 1

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><p>For cherryflavour. Hope you enjoy, hun. Told ya this story is old, from Feb 2008. :p<p>

And I still don't own the rights to Stand By me or The Body.

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><p>.<p>

Sometimes I wish I were born a guy.

No one would treat me like a pussy, a kid, a girl. No one would tell me what I _can't _do, and most of all, I'd have the courage to tell people what I _really_ think of them.

So, for the rest of the year, since it's the last week before Christmas vacation, I will try my hand at acting like a guy. Not a tough guy…maybe just say what I feel for once in my life. Well, just for a little anyways. I'll see how it plays out.

'You gonna make something to eat?' my brother asked as he leant against the refrigerator door, swigging at his beer.

I placed my house key on the hook above the mail holder. I won't need them tonight if my brother is planning on staying home, which I strongly sense that he is.

'Nope.' I said walking past him towards the front door.

I was in a huff as I had to squeeze into my clothes this morning.

I swear, I'm either fast growing out of my old clothes or I'm seriously getting fatter and fatter by the day. Watching what I eat hasn't done me any good, nor has skipping whole day's worth of meals. I can't survive on water, and I swear, as impossible as it is, even that has gone right to my tummy!

'You going out?' he asked looking to the kitchen clock hung above the door. 'It's 10:15.' He ordered, as if I weren't aware that it was nighttime.

I needed to get out. His friends will probably be over any minute.

I turned to face him. 'Yeah.'

'While you're at it, you should try making some female friends.' He sipped his beer. 'You know, bring some home?' he grinned.

He wouldn't have acted like that if dad were here. Huh! If dad _were_ home, he'd be drunk. So, lets just say I'm glad he's at the bar, and I'd have no objection to him living there either.

I started out the front door. 'You've probably fucked the entire female population of Castle Rock anyways…' I muttered slamming the door behind me.

My brother darted to the door, swiping it open. 'Watch your fucking mouth!'

My brother's hood friends were getting out of a car with three girls as I stepped off the porch steps. I can't believe he's 19 years old and _still_ has a gang. What kinda name is The Cobras anyway? Fucking lame! All they are is a bunch of hooligans.

I'm almost 14. I have a gang. But, that's allowed, isn't it?

It's cold out tonight. I should have grabbed my coat.

'Hey!' Billy Tessio yelled as he got out of Jack Mudget's '54 Studebaker. 'Evelyn!'

I carried on down the garden path which rounded the house. I loath my brother's delinquent friends. Even though my two of my four best friends are related to two of them, none of us give a shit if we badmouth them. Now if it were our folks, then war would break loose.

'Ace home?' Billy asked walking toward me.

I shot him a glance and continued out of the garden towards town.

'Thank you!' Billy sarcastically yelled.

Don't worry, I'm a nice girl really. I just don't want anything to do with my brothers connections. Male or female.


	2. Chapter 2

I wandered through the motionless town. It was a Saturday night and it must have been negative 100 degrees out tonight! I hope it'd snow for Christmas!

I'm glad I put on dungarees and a sweater! I would have been freezing my ass off in my dress. Plus, the fact that I was taking a break from my girly role, I didn't want to be wearing any skirts or dresses. Even though I still tied my blond hair back into a ponytail with a punk ribbon, I'm not ridding myself _totally _of femininity.

I casually made my way over town towards our club-house. Not that I expect anyone to be there, however I have been surprised before.

'Guys!' I yelled as I reached the foot of the ladder.

I waited. No answer.

'GUYS!' I screamed.

Nope. They're probably at home.

We had a tree house in a gigantic elm tree which overhung the vacant lot of Castle Rock. It was built using old lumber hawked from Makey Lumber & Building Supply and the Castle Rock Dump. This was our social club. We were a gang but we didn't have a lame name. In fact, we _didn't_ have a name.

At first there was Chris, Gordie, Teddy and Vern. A few years back they had a "No Girls Allowed" policy. They said I'd either turn it into a "chick place" with flower-patterned curtains, cushions and a tea set, Or, I'd invite all my girl friends up and steal the tree house off the guys. I did neither. I didn't mind. I knew I'd change their minds eventually. Actually, I lie. They needed some fresh blood for their card games and finally invited me up. Besides playing card games, the guys used the tree house to hang out and smoke cigarettes. They even had some stupid secret knock, with I could never remember. I simply stand at the foot of the ladder and yelled up to let them know I wanted in.

I scrambled over the vacant lot heading back towards town. It was as dead as can be at this time of night, and I made a promise to myself not to trudge through anymore fields. As pussy as it is to think, they scare me. The darkness scares me, so I took a seat on the sidewalk in front of Betty's Yarn, underneath a brightly lit streetlamp.

After about fifteen minutes of sitting there within my own thoughts, I heard singing. I smiled as I recognized the most welcoming voice.

I searched around and saw that it was indeed one of my best friends.

'HEY, dipshit!' I yelled over.

He didn't hear me.

Teddy's the deaf one. He wears a hearing aid in his left ear, but doesn't really like to. More than likely, as much as Ted would profusely deny, because people stare His deranged father burnt his ears on a stove when he was eight years old, all over a broken plate. I knew teddy back then, and he hasn't changed a single bit.

I wondered if he'd see me as it was real dark. Teddy's eyesight was naturally bad, so he had to wear his glasses. I love his glasses. Actually, I love Buddy Holly and Teddy kind of reminds me of him. Not the mannerisms or the singing or anything, just the glasses.

Teddy was singing the theme song from his favorite TV western, Have Gun Will Travel. 'Have Gun, Will Travel" reads the card of a man. A knight without armor in a savage land. His fast gun for hire heeds the calling wind. A soldier of fortune is the man called, Paladin.

Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam? Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home.'

Personally, I hate that show. Paladin scares me, and If you ever see him, he'll scare you too.

I snorted as I watched him walking. 'ASSHOLE!' I yelled even louder.

Teddy froze in place looking, carefully looking around. He spotted me and quickly shot me an enormous grin. 'Nice mouth..' He yelled walking towards me '..when does it shut?' He then laughed at his own idiotic joke. 'Eeee eee eee!'

I flipped Teddy off. 'I wish I'd known you when you were alive.' I retorted.

Teddy sat next to me and gave me a firm shove. 'What you doing out?'

'Thinking.' I said smiling at him.

'Your brother's home, huh?' Teddy almost laughed again.

I nodded.

I knew what Teddy was suggesting about my brother.

'You going to the Christmas dance?' He asked.

I shook my head. 'You won't get me going to that glorified grope-fest.'

Teddy chuckled. 'Thank s for blowing _my_ opportunity!'

I laughed. 'Asshole.'

'So, where've you been anyhow?' Teddy asked concerned. 'You haven't been around lately?'

I gave Teddy a quick smile. 'I went down to Lewiston to see my mom.'

'You didn't stay long?' He asked.

'Nope. I hate my step dad.' I sighed as I reached down to tie my lace. 'He weirds me out.'

'Yeah?' Teddy asked interested.

'Yeah..' I laughed. 'And he stares more than you do'

Teddy chuckled. 'I stare when you don't know it, babe.'

I elbowed him in his side. 'You're such a pervert!'

'Wanna sleep at mine?' Teddy asked with a grin. 'my mom should be cool about it.'

I've stayed over at the Duchamp house so many times, I've woken up there more than I have at home.

'Yeah?' I grinned.

'Yeah!' he grinned grabbing my hand pulling me to my feet. 'I need some Z's, plus it's crazy cold out tonight.'

Teddy has a lovely home. I don't mean he had an especially nice looking house, well, it is nice looking, far better than the shack I live in, what I meant is that it's quaint and quiet. Teddy lives alone with is mother, and she's lovely. She doesn't speak that often, and Teddy put that down to telling me that she misses his father. Teddy's dad aint dead or anything, he was sent up to Togus, which is a special V.A hospital. Teddy's father is what you called a "section eight". For about a year back when Teddy was seven, Mr. Duchamp did crazy things like shoot at cats and light the neighbors' mail boxes on fire. Teddy was proud of his old man, proud of the fact that he "stormed the beach at Normandy". I get it now. The war had to have affected Mr Duchamp, and he went crazy. After the mental and physical anguish Teddy's father had inflicted upon him, Teddy wasn't far off crazy himself. Not that any of us would utter this in his presence, not even on a dare! We know not to go there.

'Hi, mom!' Teddy yelled as we stepped in to the front door.

'Hi Mrs. Duchamp!' I smiled politely into the den where she was sat listening to her old records, a large book in hand.

She smiled up at us. 'Hello, Evelyn. Staying for late supper?'

I had to call back to her as Teddy pulled me to the basement. 'If you don't mind, Mrs Duchamp?'

Doesn't that sound weird? The _basement_. Oh no, no, It wasn't weird at all. Teddy had the _whole_ basement to himself. A few years back he moved his whole bedroom down there. It was great! Much better than the tree house, and warmer and safer too.

After about an hour or so, I changed into Teddy's set of old PJ bottoms and a t-shirt. I'm lucky they fit! I think he had these from when he was twelve, and never looked to give much thought over them fitting me or not when he handed them over.

Teddy busied himself pulling both of his mattresses down on the basement floor, sort of like a camp out, only indoors. Teddy had one iron bedstead, but slept on two mattresses. Both were quite thin but oh so comfortable.

'You don't want to sleep in the guest room, Evelyn?' Mrs. Duchamp asked carefully alighting the stairs with a plate of sandwiches and cookies. She'd also brought a huge pitcher of iced tea, with three lemon slices floating on top. I grinned with delight, this is my favorite drink, _ever_!

I smiled at her as she handed the plate of cookies to Teddy. 'No thanks Mrs. Duchamp, if it's okay with you.'

'It's cold up there, mom.' Teddy said looking up to her after he set our food down on the floor. 'And it still smells like paint.'

'Oh, I see.' She said with a quick smile. 'Don't you kids stay up too late just because it's a weekend.'

Both Teddy and I grinned. 'We won't!'

'Good night kids!' she chuckled as she made her way up the basement stairs off to bed. 'Call me if you need anything.'

She knew Teddy and I would be up 'till dawn chatting and mucking about. Teddy was fun to hang out with. He made me laugh so much it physically hurt.

Hm, she didn't ask if my father agreed to let me sleep over. Mrs Duchamp usually does. That and makes the mistake of asking if she can call my mother "just to make sure". I hope she's forgetful with the fact my mother no longer lives in Castle Rock, and not taking a jab at me for being parented up by my rummy father.

I woke at about 9am Sunday morning. The sun shone brightly through the basement window. I made a mental note not to sleep directly in its path next time. I turned over and saw that Teddy was sprawled over his mattress, with his mouth wide open. I couldn't help but laugh.

As I sat up, Teddy opened his eyes and looked to me, without moving his body the _slightest_ bit. It kind of creepd me out, like he was the undead or something, but that Ted for ya.

'What?' he asked grinning.

I grinned back. 'Nothing!'

I moved my pillow slightly, making sure I wouldn't knock over what was left of the iced tea. My gaze drifted to the plate of unfinished sandwiches beside Teddy.

I could smell them from where I lay.

I retched.

Teddy sat up looking concerned. 'You okay?'

I nodded.

'You sure?' Teddy asked reaching for his glasses.

I nodded. Seconds later I retched again and made a run upstairs for the bathroom.

I'd thrown up everything I'd eaten that night, and it wasn't a lot.

'Want me to get mom?' Teddy asked rubbing my back as I leant in to the toilet.

I shook my head.

Teddy gave a nervous chuckle as he kept his warm hand in place. 'Mom's food isn't that bad, is it?'

I shook my head again, snorting a little. 'I think I'm okay now.'

I sat on the edge of the bath as Teddy stared at me. I got up, drank a little water, brushed my teeth and gently washed my face. I was okay. I felt better.

'I want more iced tea.' I smiled at Teddy, then left the bathroom for his bedroom.

Teddy laughed as he followed me back down to the basement. 'You're fucking weird!'

I'd drank the rest of the pitcher within seconds.

'How can you drink that when it's been stood all night?' Teddy asked making a face. 'You'll be barfing it all up again!' he chuckled.

I moved the plate of sandwiches out of view being careful not to look at them, or smell them.

'It tastes good!' I grinned.

'What me to tell mom you're sick?' Teddy asked watching me.

'Nope' I smiled at him 'I think I'm okay.'

'You sure?' Teddy asked taking my glass.

'Yeah. I feel much better.' I assured him. 'Go wash so we can go meet the guys!' I nudged him.

'You not gonna change first?' he asked with a smirk.

'Yeah.' I stuck my tongue out at him. 'When you leave!'

Teddy shook his head and grinned at me as he collected his clothes. I didn't think he expected me to be so sharp-witted at this time of morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Teddy and I walked towards the tree house. It was our primary meeting spot if any of us wanted to hang out. Even if we had nothing to do, we enjoyed each others company.

Town was real icy this morning. You had to be careful where you trod on the sidewalk or you'd go flying.

'Guys!' Teddy and I heard a yell.

'Hey Chris!' Teddy yelled half waving.

Chris ran up to join us. I hope he wouldn't slip on the ice!

Chris was the eldest and toughest in our gang. If any of the other guys (except Gordie) hinted at being scared of the dark, or monsters under the bed or anything, would have gotten their ass ragged right off.

Chris's big brother hung out with mine in their stupid gang. I don't think his brother Richard aka. Eyeball, did a thing to help Chris. Chris's so sweet. He never caused trouble. It scared me to know his alcoholic father would beat on him. Chris's father hung out with mine at Sukey's Tavern. They were a couple of local rum-pots and everyone knew it.

'What you guys doing today?' Chris asked all cheery.

I guess his dad didn't arrive home last night.

Teddy shrugged.

I smiled at Chris. 'Nothing much, why?'

Chris grinned and pulled on my hand.

'The lake's frozen over, guys!' Chris beamed as he dragged me in the direction of Old Boom Road. I grabbed onto Teddy dragging him behind me.

Chris was right! I'd never seen the lake frozen over.

It had to be real cold out last night for this to happen!

'Dare ya!' Teddy grinned at Chris.

'I don't think it's safe' I said shaking my head looking for any sign of life.

'It looks solid enough.' Chris spoke walking through the undergrowth towards the lake's edge.

'I'll go!' Teddy grinned.

'No!' I stopped him. 'It might just be frozen on top!' I looked to Chris.

'Nah!' Chris said poking the icy lake with a stick 'it was cold enough last night'

'Fuck it!' Teddy said in his _I'm getting bored_ way.

Teddy didn't think twice as he placed his boot hard on the lakes surface.

Both Chris and I looked on with caution.

'See!' Teddy said patting his boot on the ice, resting his full weight on the one foot. 'It's real….'

The ice made a strange noise and began to crack.

'Teddy!' Chris yelled as he pulled Teddy off the ice.

Teddy's boot just about broke the surface when Chris pulled him off.

My heart jamp out of my chest! If Chris hadn't grabbed him in time he surely would have fell in.

'Dijoo see that?' Teddy asked amazed.

'Yeah, man!' Chris said staring the hole Teddy had made to the surface.

I couldn't breathe. I plonked myself down on the frozen undergrowth.

'You okay?' Chris asked looking at me with concern. 'You're as white as a ghost!'

'I don't think she's well today, man. She barfed this morning.' Teddy said sitting next to me.

'You could have fallen in' I whispered.

'He's okay..' Chris said touching my arm.

I shook my head slowly.

'You could have fallen in…' I mumbled.

'He didn't' Chris smiled 'I was there to save him' he said jokingly.

'Yeah' Teddy shrugged. 'No big deal.'

I don't know why I felt this way, but I was scared.

Teddy and Chris walked me home about half an hour later. To tell you the truth, I can't even recollect the walk, and it's only twenty or so minutes away.

'You gonna be okay?' Chris asked as we walked toward my house.

'Yeah, I feel much better. I think I need to lay down for a little.' I smiled at him.

'Oh, hell!' Teddy muttered stopping dead in his tracks.

'What?' Chris asked wide eyed looking back to him.

'The Cobras.' Teddy swallowed hard.

The guys tried to stay away from the Cobras best they could. A year last summer, the guys went looking for a kid named Ray Brower, a dead kid, and had a run-in with the Cobras. I know that sounds strange, hiking for two days to go see a dead body, but the guys said it's something they had to do. It was the only activity I_ wasn't_ allowed to join in. Vern even told me I was pussier than him, so I don't get to go. I held a grudge for a week or so but all that changed when the Cobras beat up my best friends. It wasn't a light beating either. All the guys ended up with broken bones and fractured ribs. I was secretly glad I didn't get to go. The Cobras would hurt anyone, male or female. Thankfully, my brother has never laid a hand on me.

I shook my head and sighed. 'You guys don't have to walk me all the way.'

'You sure?' Chris asked. Truthfully, he was thankful.

'You gonna be okay?' Teddy asked touching my elbow.

'Sure.' I shrugged. 'I live there.' I grinned.

'See you later?' Chris asked.

I thought for a moment. 'See you in the morning' I said smiling at Chris. 'I think I'm gonna sleep for the rest of the day.' I looked to Teddy smiling.

Chris chuckled. 'Didn't get much sleep at Duchamp's?'

Teddy grinned and socked Chris in the arm.

'Do I ever?' I shrugged walking backwards towards my house.

'Don't be late in the morning!' Teddy yelled to me. 'I've frozen my balls off twice this month waiting for you!'

Chris gave teddy a weird look. 'So, you've no balls then?' he laughed.

I giggled. 'See ya!' I turned toward my house waiving over my shoulder.

'Later!' Chris yelled laughing as he ran from Teddy as he threatened him with another punch.


	4. Chapter 4

Yesterday was the most I've ever slept in on day. After I arrived home, I took a long bath and went straight to bed. As fat as I thought I was getting, I need to eat more. I'm lacking energy here. It'll be my own fault if I faint.

I was up bright and early this Monday morning. I felt good. I think sleeping for fifteen hours straight did the job.

My house stank of alcohol this morning. I knew my dad was home. As I walked across the landing I heard him snoring. I tried my best to creep past his bedroom door. I hated him talking to me when he was drunk. He didn't act like my father, he acted like some creepy guy trying to pick up a young girl at a bar.

After I washed and dressed ready for school, I decided to make myself some breakfast.

I walked into the kitchen and Eyeball Chambers and Vince Desjardins were at the kitchen table. They looked at me as if I were a stranger. I didn't get it, I lived there, It was my home. Why shouldn't I be here?

I walked past them to the refrigerator to get some milk. This morning, I think I'll have cereal!

I grabbed the bottle of milk out the fridge, spun around quickly to grab myself a bowl, and to my surprise my brother was stood right behind me.

'SHIT, John!' I said clutching on to the milk bottle. 'Why you gotta sneak up on me?'

My brother didn't say a word. I guess he was hung over.

I contemplated sitting at the kitchen table, instead a chose a spot on the kitchen counter.

I hopped up, grabbed a clean bowl from the dish drainer and a spoon from the drawer between my legs.

Eyeball and Vince were still looking at me. I tried not to make eye contact in case they were in a weird mood. You know, how some guys are quiet until you make eye contact, and then all hell breaks loose? Well, I didn't want any of that. I was uncomfortable enough being in the same room as them.

I grabbed a cereal box from the cabinet beside me and poured milk and cereal into my bowl, simultaneously. It's a trick and a half, I tell ya!

'You sleep at home last night?' my brother spoke as he made coffee.

Did he even drink that? I guess I'm not around as much as I should be.

I didn't answer. I had a mouth full of soggy cornflakes.

'Well?' he asked looking to me.

I nodded.

'What time did you get in?' he asked sipping his coffee. It was black, I could smell it. I love the smell of coffee. It fills my head full of warm blissful memories of having my mom cooking large breakfasts, everyone sat around the breakfast table, happy, laughing, chatting about current events.

He waited for a reply.

'Huh?' I asked looking to him.

John looked to his friends in that "see what I have to put up with?" sort of way. 'What time did you fuckin' get home?'

Jeez! If he were a chick, I'd call him a bitch!

'I dunno' I said looking at my cereal. ' 'bout twelve.' I shrugged.

'Midnight?' Vince asked looking to me then my brother.

What the hell was it to do with him? Well, Vince was okay, but I'd rather him keep his nose out of my business.

'No dipshit, noon!' I said scornfully.

Vince shot me an annoyed glance. Eyeball snorted.

John walked over to me. 'Were you out with those faggots?' he asked staring right through me.

'John, I was home at noon.' I spoke calmly. I didn't want to piss my brother off any more than he seemed to be.

He smiled at me as if to say "well done".

I frowned at him. 'You can't make me stay away from my friends, _Ace_!' I almost barked.

He shook his head smiling. 'No, I can't.' He said calmly. 'But I can beat the living shit outta them.' He said getting closer to my face.

'Yeah!' Vince cheered, nudging Eyeball in the process.

'You ain't my fucking father!' I slammed my bowl down on the kitchen counter. 'You can't tell me what to do or who to be friends with!' I yelled making a move for the kitchen door.

My brother didn't even flinch. I hate when he does this. He had that sort of charm about him that'd make you back down.

'That's a reasonable point.' John said nodding. 'But like it or not, you do as _I_ say.' He glared at me.

I stormed out of the kitchen into the hallway, grabbed my books and walked out. I made a point of slamming the front door behind me, for my benefit more than his.

I made my way through town towards where the guys and I usually met up before school. Gordie came up with the idea of us meeting at the bench outside the chapel. We all took separate classes now so we hardly saw each other at school. Gordie came up with the calculation the it was the exact half way point from Vern's home, which was the furthest, to school. I told Gordie he was absurd. He approvingly accepted, and that became our meeting spot.

No one was there this morning. Well, I was half an hour early.

'You're early!' Vern yelled as he stood in front of me.

I didn't notice he was there as I was daydreaming. Maybe daydreaming isn't the correct word, distracted perhaps.

Vern poked me. 'Helloooo! Evelyn!'

I looked up at him. 'Hey, Vern.' I noticed he had no coat on. 'What happened to your coat?'

Vern chuckled. 'Ah! Me an' Billy had a fight. I ran out before he could beat my ass.'

I nodded. 'After what he did to you last year I thought he would have cooled down a little?'

'You'd think wouldn't ya!' Vern chuckled again and sat himself on the bench next to me. 'I didn't die, so he thinks he can _still_ beat on me.'

Why was he always so enthusiastic in the mornings? God! His jolliness drains me out half the times!

'Your brother is a dick.' I said as I rested my head on Vern's shoulder.

'Tell 'im to his face!' Vern laughed.

I snorted. 'You think I should?' I asked with a smile.

Vern laughed shooting me a "don't you dare!" look.

Vern's brother Billy hung out with my brother. He was the one that said hello to me on Saturday night as I walked out of the house.

Remember me telling you that the guys went to look for Ray Brower's dead body back in the summer year before? Well, as Vern arrived home that Sunday morning, Billy took a stovelength and hit him hard enough to knock Vern unconscious. I think Vern said he was knocked out after five good hits, but Billy got scared in case he'd killed Vern and rushed him to the local CMG Emergency Room.

Vern couldn't run to save his life, he was kind of podgy back then. Now, due to his growth spurt and that he eats less treats, he's lookin good. Same old Verno, but healthier.

'Mornin' guys!' Gordie yelled walking towards Vern and I.

I lifted my head off Vern's shoulder and waved to Gordie.

If there were anyone in this world who could cheer me up it'd be him.

'Hey, Gordon!' I said cheekily. 'How are you this fine morning?'

'Me?' Gordie said taking a seat next to me. 'I'm fucking freezing!' he grinned. 'Vern..?' he said blinking at Vern.

'Yeah?' Vern asked looking to Gordie.

'Where the _hell's_ your coat, man?' Gordie asked grinning.

'Oh, well you see, Billy an I had a fight…' Vern explained

'Again?' Gordie tutted. 'You've gotta learn to stop that asswipe off.'

I giggled at Gordies comment.

'I know, man.' Vern said rubbing his hands together. 'He just thinks he can boss me about, ya know. He was showing off to Beverly again.'

'Is he still with her?' I questioned Vern.

'Yup.' Vern said rolling his eyes.

'Oh…' I thought for a moment. 'He was with some other girls on Saturday.'

Vern laughed. 'I hope he gets what's commin' to him!'

Gordie shook his head. 'So?' he cleared his throat. 'You goin to the dance?'

I closed my eyes and gave a long groan. 'If _one_ more person asks me that, there are going to be a few missing people around Castle Rock.'

Vern snickered and shook his head.

'Er…okay.' Gordie didn't know what to say. 'I'm goin' to the dance.'

'Yeah?' Vern sat up with interest. 'Who ya goin' with?'

'Sarah Roberson.' Gordie smiled. 'She asked me during math last week…she's kinda nice, so I said yes.'

'Sarah?' I hoped he wasn't talking about the Sarah Roberson _I_ knew. 'The chick with red hair?'

Gordie nodded. 'Why?'

I laughed. 'Good luck is all I'm sayin'!'

Gordie looked at me unimpressed. 'You know her?'

I nodded. 'She _was_ dating Rick, so I guess…nothing.' I changed the subject quickly. 'Who you goin with Vern?'

Vern grinned. 'Well-'

'-What?' Gordie interrupted Vern and grabbed my arm. 'What's wrong with Sarah?'

I tried not to laugh. 'Nothing'. I just hope you know you may get an ass kicking off Rick, or dumped during the dance.' I shrugged.

'Fucking great!' Gordie nodded. He wasn't mad, just a little annoyed. 'So I'm her _back-up_!'

'Well, you still get to go.' I smiled. 'Just mingle with some other degenerates an' you'll find someone to dance with.'

Gordie nodded. 'Well, now that I'm aware, I just may.' He huffed.

Vern continued. 'I'm going with Sally Peters.' He smiled looking at me a little wary.

'That's cute.' I grinned at Vern. 'Did you ask or did she?'

'She asked me.' Vern said blushing.

I laughed at his cuteness.

'Anyone asked you?' Gordie asked me.

'I think so.' I shrugged. I didn't want to answer.

Gordie turned to face me. 'What do you mean, _think so_?'

I shrugged. 'I'm not going.'

'Yeah, Chris did say.' Gordie said bluntly. 'Sooo…He's decided he's going with Amy Norton!'

'WHAT?' I shot a look at Gordie. 'Norton?'

Amy Norton was one of the most popular, prettiest, richest and most beautiful girls in Junior High. Why she would be seen with Chris, I don't know, but still!

Gordie laughed.

'What?' I frowned at him.

He shook his head grinning. 'I _knew_ you'd react like that.'

Vern was also laughing.

'What?' I asked looking to Vern.

'He aint goin' with Amy.' Vern chuckled.

Gordie laughed. 'Just wanted to see how you'd react.'

'Very fucking funny!' I said crossing my arms.

'Are you a tad bit jealous?' Gordie asked nudging me.

'No! Why should I be? I'm not going. Chris can go with whoever he wants to!' I tried not to sound jealous. I tried NOT to be jealous.

'He wants to go with you.' Vern smiled at me.

'Yup!' Gordie chirped.

I shrugged. Inside I was pleased.

'Has he asked you yet?' Vern asked.

'He _knows_ I'm _not _going.' I told Vern.

Gordie sighed. 'If you want to go with Chris, let him know. I don't think he's going to chase after you if you're adamant you aren't going.' Gordie ordered.

'I'm not playing hard to get.' I looked Gordie in the eyes. 'I'll pass on the infernal, grope infested, half-spiked, punch drunk dance.' I stood up wanting to head to school. 'It's not the end of the world if I don't go!'

Gordie smiled up to me. 'Okay.'

My heart almost leapt out of my chest as Teddy grabbed me from behind swinging me around.

'Jesus Christ, Teddy!' I said hitting him once he put me down.

'You poor, sweet, innocent thing!' Teddy grinned at me. 'I'm going with Martha J-something.'

'Fun!' I mocked walking past Teddy. 'Are you guys coming or not?' I asked as I stood on the road.

'Yep!' Vern said leaping off the bench grabbing my hand.

'Better not let Sally Peters see you two.' Gordie laughed, gesturing to myself and Vern holding hands.

'Where in the fuck is Chambers?' Teddy asked looking around.

'We'll meet him on the way.' Gordie said grabbing at Teddy's coat to make a move.


	5. Chapter 5

I couldn't wait for lunch today! I was starved during Chemistry. We had an oral quiz on the periodic table.

I usually daydreamed through most of the class. I sat at the back bench with some girl I never spoke to. Chris was in my class but he was paired up with the nerdy Danny Naughton. I think he bored Chris half to death talking about his vampire comic book collection.

'Caroline.' Mr. Rustow asked the girl next to me. 'Atomic weight and number for... Carbon?'

'Oh…erm…' She fumbled.

I wrote 20/40 on a piece of paper and slid it next to her.

'Carbon, 20, 40?' she answered smiling.

'Correct!' Mr. Rustow said checking his textbook.

'Thank you' Caroline whispered leaning over to me.

I gave her a smile.

'Evelyn. Atomic weight and number for..' he traced his finger as he searched his book. 'Polonium.'

I shook my head. He had to go and give me a hard one. 'I dunno.'

'Excuse me?' he asked as if he didn't hear me.

'I-don't-know' I answered loudly as if he were deaf.

'Ms Merril, I'm highly aware that you indeed know the answer.'

He gave me a stern look as if he were about to embarrass me in front of the whole classroom of 20 students.

I shook my head looking down. '84/209'

Mr Rustow glared at me. 'You're only wasting your _own _time Ms Merril.'

'Danny, Magnesium?' He asked looking over his glasses.

'Oh! i…i..think..is it…12? And…' Danny fumbled.

Chris leant over a little. I knew he'd whispered the answer.

Danny continued '12/24. Sir!'

'Very good, Danny!' Mr. Rustow looked to his book.

'Mr. Chambers, Lutetium?'

What the hell? Mr. Rustow wouldn't even _know_ that without checking his stupid book first!

'Erm…' Chris had no idea.

'Today, Chambers!' Mr. Rustow barked making most of the class jump.

'I don't know, Sir.' Chris answered awkwardly.

'Are you dense, Mr. Chambers?'

Of all the teachers who had it out for Chris, this bastard was at the top of the list. Chris applied for college courses as Gordie and I had. He refused at first because no one believed in him, me and Gordie gave him an ultimatum. Do it or stay here in Castle Rock with the other low lives. Chris enrolled in algebra, Latin and Earth Science. Chris joked that he wanted to do law. I didn't find it funny. He could if he kept gutting it out as he always did. The only class he had with me was Chemistry. The only class I was at the top of. Don't tell anyone though!

'Today, Chambers!' He yelled waiting for an answer.

Chris head sank down. I could tell he was humiliated. All eyes were on him. Some kids even smirked. They wouldn't fucking know the answer either!

'THAT'S NOT FAIR!' I yelled. 'It's not even_ on_ the periodic table, it's a Lanthanide!' I was pissed, but I didn't care. 'There is _no_ way he'd answer that without the book!'

The whole classroom turned to stare at me. No one _ever _spoke up in class unless they were asked a question. As far as I know, every kid was scared of the teachers, including me.

'Quiet down Ms. Merril!' Mr Rustow yelled at me. 'Or I'll send you to the principles office!'

'Why don't _you _tell him the answer without looking, and give him an easier one?' I had to defend Chris.

A few students sniggered and muttered.

'I will NOT tolerate you speaking to me like this!' he yelled walking over to me.

Chris turned around and shot me a look telling me to shut my mouth.

Mr. Rustow stood at the foot of my bench. 'Would you like to spend the remainder of the day in detention?'

'Can you answer your ridiculous question?' I asked glaring at Mr. Rustow.

He frowned at me, breathing deeply through his nose.

'You can't, can you?' I asked him bluntly.

Some kids muttered 'do you think he can?'

Mr. Rustow shot them a glance and they quickly shut up.

Mr. Rustow slammed his book down and pointed his finger at me. Everyone in the class jamp from the blow of his overweight text book hitting my work bench.

'ONE more word from you and I'll remove you from MY CLASSROOM to the PRINCIPAL!' he yelled.

'Fucking send me THEN!' I yelled grabbing my book bag and books.

During the split second I glanced at the class, everyone's mouths dropped in shock.

Mr. Rustow was taken aback by my language. _I_ was taken aback by my language!

'YOU TOO, CHAMBERS!' Mr. Rustow howled pointing at Chris.

I stopped as soon as he said Chris's name. 'He didn't do shit!'

I looked to Chris then back to Mr. Rustow. 'He leaves and I'll tell Principal Garson what you did!'

I didn't mean to threaten a teacher, but he _was_ messin' with my best friend.

Mr. Rustow backed down slightly. I carried on towards the door.

I expected him to throw his stupid textbook at me.

'71 / 174.97!' I yelled before slamming the door behind me.

I sat in the principal's office for about half an hour. I even missed half my lunch hour. The receptionist told me to take a seat, I did, and she's been giving me evil looks ever since.

The principle wasn't around so I had a telling off from the vice. She threatened to call my parents if she had any more trouble from me. This was the first time, so I got off lucky. I was also given 3:30 detention for the rest of the week for an hour. She never gave me a chance to state my case.

I rushed to lunch hoping all the food wouldn't be devoured.

'Ev!' Chris snapped his fingers in front of me. 'You gonna eat that?' He asked eyeing my fries and salad.

I shook my head as I rested it on my arm. 'It's disgusting.'

Gordie gave me a weird look. 'You love school food.'

I shook my head. 'I'm gonna get some jello.' I said shifting my tray to Chris as I stood up.

Chris followed me.

'Thanks for what you did earlier.' Chris smiled at me as he walked beside me.

I nodded. 'You're welcome, for the 100th time.'

'You know, you don't have to be such a hard ass…'

I didn't let Chris finish. 'Christopher, if there's anything you've taught me, it's to stick up for the ones you love.' I said and quickly headed for the jello.

I don't know why anyone doesn't like school jello, it's great!

I grabbed the red one, I assume it's strawberry. I don't care, it looks good! I also grabbed a black plastic spoon and stuck it in my mouth as I do have a habit of dropping my cutlery.

The dinner lady shot me a look when I squirted mustard on top of my jello cup. I know! Yucky, but it tastes good. Its what I wanted to eat.

I turned to realize Chris was back at the table finishing off my lunch. I walked back to our table finishing off the mustard before I got to the lovely jello part.

'….ask!' Gordie said nudging Chris.

Gordie grinned at me as I sat down in front of him.

'Where's Teddy?' I asked looking for him.

'Over there' Vern said pointing with his fork full of food.

I looked over to Teddy sat with a bunch of guys he sometimes played baseball with. When I say _play_, I don't mean literally. Teddy couldn't spot a ball inches from his nose.

Gah! I'm being a bitch again! Sorry.

'Haven't you finished yet?' I asked Vern as I gestured to his plate of food with my black spoon.

Vern shook his head grinning. 'Seconds.'

I grinned at him. 'I'm amazed how much you can eat.' I said poking him. 'You're lucky you're taller than me and …wait' I looked to the guys. 'I'm the shortest?'

I hadn't realized. Even Gordie was shorter than me last year, and now he's a few inches taller.

Vern laughed. 'Yup, you need to do some growin'' he pointed his fork at me.

'Fantastic!' I mocked leaning back in my chair watching Gordie and Chris whispering. 'Must be growing in the wrong direction.'

I got out of my seat and headed across the lunchroom towards Teddy. He was sat with his back to me. As I stood behind him I heard him say '…nah, they're real soft…'

'How would you know?' a tough kid asked

Teddy shrugged. 'Ev.'

Why the hell was Teddy talking about me? I sat down on the seat behind him that belonged to a neighboring table. I stuck my black plastic spoon into my mouth and listened intently.

'No shit!' a blond guy said in disbelief. He looked at me then back to Teddy. I don't think he realized who I was.

'How far did ya get?' another guy asked grinning. 'Second, third base?'

'No way!' A guy with a baseball cap interrupted. 'No way would _any_ chick let you touch her tits!'

Oh. My. God!

'I swear!' Teddy gloated.

'Teddy's right.' Another blond guy smiled. 'My sisters are..'

'You touched your sisters tits?' a few guys scoffed.

'No!' the blond guy yelled. 'I ran in to her…..'

'How old is she?' someone asked.

'Twenty..something.' the blond guy shrugged.

'That's sick, man.' The guy with the baseball cap laughed.

'Look!' the blond one said. 'I _ran_ _in to her_, all right!'

'So, let's ask her then, Duchamp!' The tough guy challenged Teddy. 'Does this chick go to this school?'

I decided to intervene. I took my spoon out of my mouth and interrupted. 'Yeah, Teddy!'

Teddy span around in his chair to see me sitting behind him. 'Oh….shit!' he muttered.

'You're such a dick.' I hissed as I frowned at Teddy.

'Who the fuck are you?' the tough guy sneered at me as I was about to leave.

'Yeah!' the guy with the baseball cap ordered. 'This is guy talk, go back to your chick stuff.'

I looked back to Teddy for a moment. He was looking real ashamed.

'Well?' the tough guy leant across the table. 'Fuck off.' He gestured at me to leave.

'Who is she Teddy?' the second blond guy asked.

'This is Ev.' Teddy smiled at me then looked to the guys. 'Evelyn Merrill, my best friend.'

Was_ that_ supposed to make me feel better? It didn't!

'Merril?' The tough guy asked Teddy. 'As is fucking Ace Merril?'

'Yeah.' Teddy said looking back to me clearing his throat.

The tough guy looked at me as if to say "_don't tell your brother I told you to fuck off!"_

'I'll see you later, Teddy.' I said ready to walk back across the lunch room.

'You seriously let him tough your tits?' A guy with dark hair leant over the lunch table to ask as I began walking away.

I stopped and turned to face the boys. I looked to Teddy who was smiling at me. This time, I think I'll forgive him. He was only bragging and lying like most guys do when they feel the need to compete with each other. I wouldn't show Teddy up in front of his friends.

The school bell rang so I left Teddy with his friends and walked back over to my boys. I looked at my empty jello cup and placed my plastic spoon back in to my mouth. I want more jello.

When I get home, I think I'll make some jello and put in fruit!

I gathered up my stuff and headed out the lunch room with the guys. There was talk of a sermon this afternoon. That reminds me…

I held back from the guys and waited for Teddy. He saw that I was waiting for him and let his friends up front so he could meet me in the hallway.

'You commin?' Vern asked as he, Chris and Gordie stopped to wait.

I watched Teddy approach with caution. 'Yeah, I just need to tell Ted something..' I told vern.

I gave Teddy a gentile smile to which he gave one back.

'Hi' Teddy grinned with prudence.

'Hi yourself.' I said.

I checked the hallway. There were only us five here. I wasn't going to let Teddy think he got away with what he'd said at lunch.

Teddy began to walk by so I pushed his back hard against the lockers, took hold of his crotch and dug my fingernails into his balls so hard _I_ was afraid they'd burst.

Teddy gave a high pitched cry.

'Holy shit!' Chris muttered.

'If you ever…' I stood millimeters from Teddy's face. 'EVER say shit like that about me again' I dug my nails even harder 'I will personally castrate you! Got it?'

I let go of Teddy and made my way down the hallway leaving Chris, Gordie and Vern to stare at Teddy with confusion.

'What the fuck did you do?' I heard Gordie and Vern ask Teddy.

I probably didn't teach Teddy a lesson, but he's gonna be aching for the rest of the day, and that's good enough for me.


	6. Chapter 6

I had one of the worst classes in the whole history of school education this afternoon. I would rather sit double detention than go to this one! No, the worst class wasn't math or chemistry, it's Sex Ed.

The whole grade had to flock in to the auditorium for an hour long lecture from some guidance counselor or someone from the neighboring community college. I wished the lecture consisted of single sexed students, but noooo, boys and girls had to hear it together!

Worst of all, Teddy pushed past over the chairs to sit next to me. He even made a fist at Rebecca Simmons who originally sat beside to me.

I shook my head at Teddy. 'That's pathetic'

Teddy grinned making himself comfortable. 'Can't I sit with my best friend?' A few seconds later Teddy eyed me then crossed his legs.

'No, but I get to.' I said looking from Teddy to Chris.

Chris didn't hear me. He looked forward in a daze.

'What do you think they're gonna tell us?' Vern asked turning to face me. Vern was sat next to one of his friends in the row ahead of mine. 'You think this is about dating and stuff?'

'Sex, Vern.' Gordie said sat next to Chris, shaking his head at Vern's idiocy.

'Yeah.' Teddy agreed leaning forward. 'They're gonna tell us how to have sex.' He chuckled.

Chris gave a snort and grinned.

'Can they do that?' Vern asked wide eyed as he turned to Chris.

Chris looked down and began to laugh.

I shook my head at Vern and mouthed 'No.'

Vern gave me a quick smile in appreciation and turned to face forward.

The lady counselor tapped the microphone which made every kid in the auditorium slap their hands over their ears.

'Let me just…turn this down..' The counselor fumbled with the mic.

Teddy shuffled in his chair and rested his hand on my knee.

I turned to Teddy. 'Move your fucking hand or I'll break your fingers.'

Chris, Gordie and whoever was behind us shot us both a look.

Teddy quickly snatched his hand away, grinning slightly.

'So..' she cleared her throat. 'Good afternoon!' she smiling widely looked to all of us. 'My name is Pamela Gibbs and I'm here today to educate you young adults on your body, sexual health and precautions.'

A few kids snickered.

'After, I will do a brief Q&A for any of you with questions.' She smiled widely again looking through her note cards.

'Please, someone put me out of my fucking misery.' I muttered to myself as I quickly took a peek at where Teddy's hands were.

Chris leant to me and smiled. 'You might learn something.'

I shook my head. 'It'll just push some old stuff out.'

'So…' Ms Pamela counselor began 'This is a very confusing and awkward time for all teenagers. Expect to feel weird. It's normal! There are many changes that occur. Some of these changes occur in both boys and girls. Others occur based on which sex you are.'

Pamela took a look around the auditorium smiling.

'Along with the various physical changes your body will go through, you will also experience a lot of emotional changes too. Most of these changes are a result of all the physical changes trying to adjust. Boys and Girls experience moodiness. For girls, changes in their estrogen levels can cause mood swings. For boys, changes in their testosterone levels can cause mood swings.

Girls typically experience growth spurt around age 11, grow larger breasts around age 11, get rounder, wider hips and narrower waists, start menstruation around age 13, sometimes sooner, sometimes later.'

Teddy leant over and whispered. 'Is that true?'

I frowned at him and elbowed him in his rib.

Teddy started to giggle.

Pamela continued. 'Boys typically experience growth spurt between 13 and 14 years old, grow larger hands and feet, grow larger penis and scrotum around 12 years old, develop very sensitive testicles, balls, experience more frequent erections, develop larger muscles and broader shoulders. For boys, ejaculation is the first sign that they are going through puberty. Ejaculation may occur because of masturbation or while a boy is sleeping. This is called a "wet dream." It is very normal for this to happen.'

I looked to Teddy. 'Is that true?' I mocked him.

Teddy gave me a shove as his cheeks reddened.

Pamela asked 'So, why do you guys and girls think some teens have sex?'

Pamela looked around as if she wanted someone to answer.

No one did.

'Well, some teenagers have sex because they want to feel accepted, they think it's "boss" to have sex, It's easier to have sex than to talk about it or say no, peer pressure, they want to experiment or they have raging hormones.'

I couldn't help but laugh at the last comment. I had to hold my mouth to make sure no one heard me.

It got so bad Teddy crouched over pretending he had a coughing fit. Chris and Gordie snorted and held their laughter whilst looking away from Teddy and me.

'What is the difference between love and sex?' Pamela asked looking to Teddy with concern.

The guy behind Teddy told him to shut up. I sniggered as I held my hand over my mouth. Mature, I know, but I couldn't help it.

'Love is a feeling, an emotion, love involves feelings of romance, attraction. Sex is a physical act. Sex can happen between a male and a female, between two females, between two males, between more than two people, or by one's self, masturbation.'

A few kids chuckled at Pamela being so open and honest.

'STDs are infections that people usually get by having sex with someone who already has one. Some STDs can be treated and cured with antibiotic medicine. Others cannot be cured.

It's awfully important to remember anyone can get one. It has nothing to do with how "clean" someone is or how the person dresses and acts. Most people who get an STD, including HIV, do not know the person they are having sex with has one.'

Pamela started to bore me so I tuned out. I know I should have been listening but I've heard all this before.

I want jello.

Red jello!

At least I have my trusty black plastic spoon in my mouth to keep me occupied!

Chris leant over a little to whisper. 'Would you please stop sucking on that?'

I grinned at Chris. 'You couldn't find a more appropriate place to ask?' I chuckled.

Chris bowed down and started to laugh. Gordie shot me a look of confusion then laughed at whatever it was that Teddy mimicked from beside me. I quickly looked to Teddy who was...well, lets just say his antics were disgusting.

I went back into my own little world.

I tuned back in when everyone began to laugh. Did I miss a joke?

A girl right down the front raised her hand and asked something. I didn't hear, nor did I really care.

'If you do not want to have sex, say no and mean no, if that's how you feel. When someone, male or female, hurts you sexually, REMEMBER, if you've been sexually hurt, it is NOT your fault. You should NOT feel guilty or ashamed. If you have been hurt, contact your local, doctor, school counselor or someone you trust like a friend or parent.

Drinking and drugs make situations that can lead to sex extremely dangerous, mainly, but not only, for young women. If you fall asleep drunk or pass out at a party, it is possible that someone will take advantage of you during the night. It's possible for a partner to have sex with you against your will, This is called "date rape". Someone can place something in your drink when you are not watching, so be careful not to leave your drink unattended.'

I was so glad everyone was paying attention to Pamela. If anyone had looked at me I would have been as white as a ghost.

Chris was right. I did learn something.

'Can you get pregnant the first time?' A blond girl asked holding up her hand.

'Yes, yes you can.' The Pamela answered.

Another blond girl raised her hand. 'My sister didn't know she was pregnant when she got married, how can you tell?'

The Pamela looked pleased with her question. 'Firstly the first signs are changes within the body. A woman may have missed two to three menstrual periods, put on a little weight, headaches, she may have morning sickness which doesn't have to happen in the morning, and her mood patterns may change. I don't mean to say that women have mood swings, their actual frame of mind will change. Tiredness, Eating habits can also alter, eating odd foods, but this isn't the case for every woman.'

I was hardly paying attention but something mentally stabbed me in the stomach.

Missed period. Check!

Gotten fatter. Check!

Sickness. Check!

Tiredness. Check!

Mood. Check!

Eating habits. Check!

OH SHIT!

I looked to the guys to see if they'd picked up on this. All of them were paying attention to the counselor.

I felt sick. I think I would've thrown up then and there if I'd had any food in my stomach. I was hott and needed to get out of there.

I stood up and pushed past Teddy and a few other guys and made a run for the exit.

I knew every person at the back of the auditorium had their eyes one me, but I didn't care. I had to get out!


	7. Chapter 7

I walked home from school by myself. I ditched the last two hours and headed home without a second thought.

I stepped through the front door and the house was pretty quiet. I didn't see my brother's car in the drive, so I assumed he was out.

'Ev!' my brother yelled furiously from the den.

…Or so I _thought_ he was out.

'What the fuck is all this about you at school?' he asked grabbing my arm as I tried to go upstairs.

'They called?' I questioned. School didn't say they would call!

Oh shit! I didn't show for detention!

'Yes, they fucking called! What the fuck did you do?' his grip was getting tighter.

'John, you're hurting me…' I tried to pry his finger off my arm.

'What the hell did you do at school?' he yelled yanking on my elbow.

'Nothing. I guess I missed detention.. '

'You got detention? For what?' he spat in my face.

'Nothing! I'll go tomorrow…' I tried to pull away from him.

'Nothing? You think I'm stupid?' he shook me 'If dad had answered the phone, you'd be dead.'

Right now, that'd suit me fine.

'My teacher's a smart ass! He asked a difficult question and I answered it correctly! He didn't like it and sent me to the principal!' I frowned at my brother. 'I did nothing wrong except for show him up!' I tried to pull from his grip.

'You fucking smart mouth a teacher again and you'll be kicked out!' my brother yelled in my face. 'Fucking do as you're told! I've got better things to deal with than your shit!' he pushed me into the wall letting go.

I didn't want to continue getting yelled at so I ran upstairs, slammed my bedroom door shut, jamp onto my bed and cried into my pillow.

I didn't sleep through the night because I was petrified I was pregnant. If you're wondering if I'd ever had sex, the answer is yes, obviously, but I'm not going into that right now.

At 8am Tuesday morning I got out of bed, but wasn't planning on going to school. I needed piece of mind so at 8:30 I headed for the doctors practice.

The doctor's practice wasn't too busy for a Tuesday.

As I stepped into the practice I could see little kids crying with snotty noses and frustrated parents trying to bribe them to hush up with wooden toys. I headed for the reception window and waited for the lady behind the glass to ask what I wanted.

'Yes?' a middle aged lady asked sliding across a panel of frosted glass. She was still on the phone.

'Can I have an appointment?' I almost whispered.

'Tomorrow?' she asked shuffling some papers.

I shook my head. 'Today.'

She gave out a loud sigh as she checked her appointment book. 'You can go in if the next person doesn't show up in ten minutes. If not, this afternoon.'

'Okay.' I needed that appointment. I couldn't wait for this afternoon.

I turned to find a seat just as she scorned 'Name?'

'Evelyn Merril' My throat was so dry.

She scribbled something down. 'Take a seat.' She pointed her pen past me.

I quickly smiled and went to take a seat in the far corner of the waiting room. I hope no one spotted me from here!

I've never has ten minutes drag so slowly in my life! It was pure torture. I couldn't even focus on reading the magazine I'd grabbed off the table. I'd heard some lady talk about her new hip and another gentleman talk about how the cold was affecting his arthritis. The lady he made conversation with suggested he move to Florida. I don't think he took her remark so light heartedly.

'Merril? Evelyn.' A nurse called from behind me.

I bolted to my feet and headed towards her hoping no one herd her call my name.

The 40 year old looking brunet nurse gave me a smile as she held the consulting room's door open for me.

'Take a seat.' she motioned towards a seat next to a desk.

I sat and looked for the doctor.

'How can I help you today, Evelyn?' she sat at the desk smiling at me.

'Erm…I think…' I swallowed hard looking around the room.

'Don't be shy.' She rubbed my hand. 'It's just you and me in here.'

'I think I'm ….' I mumbled looking down at my hands. '...pregnant.' I wondered if she even understood what I'd said.

'Why do you think that, Evelyn?' she asked trying to sound empathetic.

'I've missed two periods, I'm getting fat…I've been sick…' I could just about remember my symptoms.

'Okay Evelyn.' She said walking towards a hand basin and began washing her hands. 'I'm assuming you've had intercourse, so I'll take your blood, and have it sent to the lab…' she dried her hands using a thick blue paper towel. '…You should have the results in three days.' She walked back over to me smiling.

'_Three days_?' I couldn't believe it took that long!

'Yes, the results aren't instant, but accurate.' She explained taking out her medical kit. 'Would you roll up your right sleeve for me?'

I did as she asked.

'Okay, try not to look.' She said rubbing something cold on the inside of my elbow. 'Just a little pinch….' She jabbed my arm.

I flinched.

_Pinch_! Was she kidding! It hurt like hell!

'Okay! All done.' She smiled at me taping a cotton ball to the inside of my elbow. 'Make an appointment for three days time. Okay, Evelyn?'

I sat in hesitation. 'Is that all?'

She nodded cleaning up her station sticking some labels on the vials of blood she's just taken from me. 'That's all.'

'Okay.' I stood up rolling down my sleeve. 'Thank you.'

'Thank you. Evelyn, take care now.'

I walked out feeling a little light headed and numb in my right arm.

I headed for the reception and stood behind an old lay complaining about her prescription.

'Yes?' the same lady behind the panel of glass asked me as I waited.

'Can I make an appointment for three days time?' I asked stepping where the old lady had stood.

'Name?' she asked.

I guess it wasn't her job to remember anyone's name. Even if she_ had _spoken to me minutes ago.

'Evelyn Merril.' I tried to smile.

'Friday at 4pm?' she asked waiting to scribble me an appointment.

I nodded. I didn't care that it was right after school.

The receptionist handed me a card and went right back to shuffling those papers from earlier.

'Thank you.' I mumbled as I headed out.

Three days. I had to wait three days until I could figure out the rest of my future.


	8. Chapter 8

Guess what today was? The day of my reckoning. Oh, and one week 'till Christmas vacation. I had to keep focused on something that makes me happy, or I will go insane.

I did go to school today. The past two days had dragged like hell. I didn't speak much, or so the guys kept telling me. Teddy continued to ask me if I was okay and if I was still sick. I told him I kinda was.

The guys were looking forward to the dance tonight. Chris decided to go by himself. I guess I didn't leave him much opportunity to ask me. He wouldn't have wanted to go with a miserable bitch anyway.

My last class of the day was English literature. Our teacher, Mrs. Stance, wasn't here today so we had a substitute. I forgot her name…Marshall or something.

As I doodled over my pop quiz, a note landed on my desk.

_You okay?_ It was from Gordie. He was sat at the desk beside me.

I wrote back. _Sure._

I handed my note to Gordie as soon as the substitute went back to her newspaper.

Gordie read the note and frowned at me. He scribbled something else down.

Gordie tossed the note back._ I'm serious! No bullshitting! You've been acting __really__ strange lately. What's up?_

Shit! How am I supposed to answer this! Should I tell him? I can trust him, right?

_I can't tell you Gordie. Not yet._ I handed the note back.

Gordie hesitated before leaning down to reply. He looked to the substitute before handing it to me.

_You're going to tell me eventually, so why not tell me now?_

My God, why did he have to be so smart?

I picked at my fingernail before deciding on a reply.

_I have to go to the doctor after school. Maybe I'll tell you tonight._ I scribbled then handed the note back.

Gordie replied pretty quickly.

_The dance is tonight, remember? What did you go to the doctor for? _

Oh crap!

_I had a blood test. Nothing major. I guess I'll see you Saturday then?_

Gordie pretended to finish his pop quiz while the substitute walked around the class checking on everyone's work.

Gordie tossed his note back.

_You're making me wait until Saturday? No way!_

_You should go to the dance with Chris if you're well enough._

I frowned at his note. I scribbled a reply hoping Gordie would leave it at that.

_Why are you pushing me and Chris? I don't want to go to the stupid dance! I am well enough, I'm not dying or anything. I'll see you Saturday._

As Gordie read my note I heard him sigh. I think the substitute did too as she walked over to him and asked if he needed any help. Yeah right! Gordie needing help? When fish fly!

Gordie shook his head at the substitute and wrote a reply as he cradled the note in his elbow. He tossed it back.

_I'm pushing you and Chris because __both of you__ are too stubborn to talk things out! He's fucking in love with you! Jesus Christ how can you NOT see that!_

Gordie was starting to piss me off.

_I don't like Chris the same way. I though he knew that when he asked me out last year. He's my best friend._I don't need him. __. ___Just drop it, okay?_

Gordie read my note and shook his head at me. I can tell he was as annoyed by me as I was at him.

_He asked you last year? He didn't tell me! When was this?_

_I see the way you look at him. The exact same way he looks at you. I knew the other day when I tricked you about him going to the dance with Amy, you were jealous. Deep inside your stubborn head, you know it! Chris had to ask you before you go with anyone else._

Jesus fucking Christ Gordie! I grabbed his note and scribbled

_I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE FUCKING DANCE! Not with Chris or anyone else! I don't want to date Chris! Accept it! I can just about handle anyone touching me right now without being trapped in a room full of half-drunken __fucking guys!_

_I'm not discussing this further. You're starting to piss me off. Just leave it, okay!_

Gordie didn't frown at me as I expected him to. He kind of gave me a sorry look then thought about what he wrote in reply.

_What do you mean you don't want anyone touching you? Are you okay?_

I shook my head at Gordie pleading him to stop with the questions.

Gordie looked to me nodding. 'Okay' he mouthed.

I held out my hand asking for the note back.

Gordie dithered for a moment then handed me the note.

I ripped it up in to the tiniest pieces possible.

I wasn't stupid. I knew he'd show it to Chris later on.

I felt slightly superior knowing I had one over on him.

The school bell rang seconds later and I made a run out of the classroom door, down the hall and pushed through the main entrance. I didn't even stop to put my book into my book bag until half way to the doctor's practice.

I arrived a little earlier, but I had hope that I would be seen a little earlier for my effort. Maybe not.

The same old group of people were scattered around the surgery. There were old people, kids, babies and parents persuading unruly kids with toys to stop running about.

'Evelyn Merril' a doctor called from the same room I had visited three days ago.

I stood up and walked towards her. She walked inside her office holding the door from the inside.

I took a seat on the same red chair I had three days ago. It seemed like weeks had gone by.

'So, I have your blood test results, Evelyn.' She smiled at me.

Was it good news? Doctors don't smile when they give you bad news, do they?

I smiled at her. At least I tried to smile.

'Would you like to hop up on the examination bed so I can feel your stomach?' she asked standing up.

What? Why would she need to do that?

I stood and walked over to the table while she washed her hands. She even used the same blue paper towel as the nurse did to dry her hands. I bet that stuff is like cardboard if you used it as a substitute to toilet tissue.

I hopped up on the cold bed.

'Okay, let me have a feel.' She smiled pushing up my blouse a little.

She poked and prodded. She even shifted my pants down a little. Isn't that kind of rude? Well, at least she's a female doctor.

'Do you know the date of your last period?' She asked jabbing me in my lower tummy.

'I think it was….the beginning of October..' I wasn't sure.

'Yes, okay. I see..' She said to herself as if she had voices in her head.

'Okay Evelyn, off you get.'

I hopped off the bed pulling my blouse down and my pants up.

'So, Evelyn, you are…' she looked at her notes. 'Ten weeks pregnant.'

WHAT THE FUCK!

I took a seat. I swear if I stayed stood up I would have collapsed.

'I can't be!' I yelled at her threatening her to tell me she was wrong.

'I'm afraid you are, Evelyn.' She tried to touch my hand. I yanked it away as soon as she reached over. 'Have you any idea of your options?'

I have options?

I shook my head.

'You can have the baby and become a full time parent, have the baby and give full custody to the father, have the baby and put it up for adoption' she gave me a quick smile. 'Abortion isn't an option as law forbids in Maine unless there's some risk to your health.'

I didn't say a thing. I just stared at a glittery speck on the green carpet.

'I tell you what, Evelyn. Let's make an appointment for Monday and I'll discuss this with you further. Let it all sink in.' She stared at me after she spoke. 'Discuss this with your parents then have your mom come see me with you on Monday?'

My mother? I can't tell my mother!

'Okay.' I mumbled.

'Okay!' she said cheery.

I stood up and walked towards the door.

'What about school?' I turned to ask.

'You can go to community college to continue your education.' She patted me on the back.

Community college? I can't go there!

I walked out of the doctor's office toward the reception. There was a different lady here today.

'Evelyn Merril. Appointment for Monday.'

'Okay Evelyn, how's 3:20pm?' she grinned.

I nodded.

Ten weeks? That would mean _it _would be born 14th July, 1961.

The receptionist handed me a card and I walked out.

I didn't walk home. I sat on the bench outside the chapel for about 2 hours. I didn't even think. I just sat there in the cold, staring at nothing and breathing.


	9. Chapter 9

It's 6:30pm and I'm damned frozen sat on this bench in the dark. I swear my butt is frozen. I wnt get up incase my pants rip, but that's not possible, unless I were dead. I feel dead.

What the hell am I going to do? I can't have this, _thing_, I'm just a kid! I'm starting to regret all those times I've wanted to be treated like an adult, now faced with an adult situation, I want to cry like a baby.

'Did you go?' someone yelled.

I looked up but didn't see anyone. I figured it was kids or teenagers. I went back to scratching at the button on my blouse.

'Ev! Hellooo! Did you go?' It was Gordie.

I looked up again and he was stood beside me, smiling down at me.

He looked real cute in a suit.

A _suit_?

I gave him a puzzled look.

He cocked his head as he smiled at me. 'I'm picking Sarah up on the way to the dance.'

Oh right! The dance!

'Are you okay now?' Gordie asked as he took a seat next to me.

'After you walked out at the Sex ed speech, Teddy joked that _you_ were pregnant because you'd been throwing up a lot lately…' Gordie chuckled. 'I kinda doubt that since the only miracle virgin pregnancy consisted of The Virgin Mary, and you ain't religious. ' Gordie laughed looking at the corsage he held in his hands. '..Not to mention you eating weird food. I don't think he learned anything from that sex ed speech.'

I watched Gordie intently.

Gordie continued 'Teddy actually worried me for a bit so I socked him a good one.' He laughed 'God, if you _were_, I don't….' he stopped and stared at me.

I shifted my eyes away.

'You went for a blood test, right?' he asked slowly.

I nodded a little. What else could I have done?

Gordie stared ahead for a while. I watched him hoping he'd develop some kind of thought bubble so I could read his mind.

Gordies eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. 'Jesus fucking Christ!' he whispered looking at me 'You are…aren't you?'

I shook my head.

He's too fucking clever for his own good!

'Ev?' he asked standing up in front of me.

I didn't answer him. I avoided looking into his eyes. It was scary how he could read me like a book. I didn't even have to say _one_ word, yet he read me in an instant.

'Fucking hell, Evelyn!' Gordie sounded scared.

His yell made me jump. I hate when he use my name, I know he means business when he does that. Gordie isn't to be messed with when he uses your name, so be warned.

'Please tell me I'm wrong, Ev!' Gordie asked touching my shoulder. 'You would have told me if you'd had, sex, right?'

He was right. I would have told Gordie before anyone else. I didn't. I sometimes feel inferior to the guys, so I kept it to myself. I had to. They wouldn't have understood.

Gordie stared down at me waiting for an answer. 'Evelyn?'

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

Gordie began slowly shaking his head in disbelief.

I stood up and walked past him. It was about time I headed home. I couldn't handle explaining all this to Gordie, not tonight. I can't deal with this tonight!

'Ev!' Gordie yelled rushing up to me.

I didn't stop to wait.

Gordie grabbed my arm. 'What the fuck are you going to do?'

I stopped to look at Gordie.

I sniffed. 'I don't know.' I whimpered and then I continued walking.

I just wanted to go home. Even if my brother and his imbecile friends are there, I don't care. I'll lock myself in my bedroom. I'll forget about everything under the sanctuary of my eiderdown.

Gordie walked with me. 'Look, I have to split…' he tried to be sensitive. 'Come see me tonight?' he asked stroking my arm. 'Please?'

I stopped and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

Gordie moved my blond curls out of my face so he could see me. 'You need to talk to someone…'

I shook my head moving his hand away. I turned to head home.

'Who's the father, Ev?'

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Oh shit! Shit shit shit! FUCK! He never even occurred to me. Do I have to tell _him_?

Gordie frowned. 'Ev! This is big, you're just a kid….'

'Don't you think I know that Gordie?' I barked.

I didn't mean to yell. 'I'm sorry' I said reaching for him.

Gordie looked angry at me as he took a few steps back. 'Later.' He muttered as he walked off.

I stood there and watched my best friend walk away. I honestly didn't mean to yell at Gordie, I know he's only trying to help.

As Gordie drifted out of view I made my way home. I'm drained.

As I reached my front door I could hear them, my brother and his friends. This was confirmation that my dad was out at the bar, again.

'Heeeeey!' Charlie sang as I stepped in to the hallway.

He was okay, I guess. He wasn't as mean as the other Cobras, Kind of a pussy actually.

I shot him a quick smile and headed upstairs.

'Ace, your sister's home!' One of the Cobras shouted.

'She is?' I could hear my brother ask as he walked out of the den with a beer in hand. 'Ev!' he called to me chasing me up the stairs. 'School fucking called, AGAIN!' he yelled.

I stopped at the top of the upstairs hallway and watched him rush towards me. 'I don't care, John. Just leave me alone, okay? I'm tired.' I pleaded with him.

'_You're _tired?' He frowned pointing at me with his beer bottle. 'I'm tired of all this shit you've been pulling!' he yelled.

'John, stop yelling. My head is pounding enough as it is!' I sniffed. 'I just want to go to bed.' I spoke as I tried to walk away but he stopped me by placing his arm on the wall, preventing me from passing.

My brother leant to me speaking softly, I can smell the beer on him, but he didn't look drunk. 'If I get _one_ more fuckin call on Monday, I'll _let_ dad beat your ass.' He paused momentarily. '..And don't think I won't stop him. You dig?'

My brother gently took his had off the wall and made his way back down the stairs, not looking back to see if I'd understood. He terrified me when he spoke like that. He never goes back on his word, ever.

I locked myself in the bathroom for about an hour taking a long bath. My brothers' friends didn't bother me as they used the bathroom at the back of the house. No one ever used it. I hated going in there because it was full of spiders and crawlies.

I dressed into my nightgown and sank into my bed pulling the covers over my head. I was exhausted enough to forget about today. To forget about everything.


	10. Chapter 10

The days had quickly come and gone since my last doctor's appointment. I went back to the doctors' office that Monday hoping to see the same lady doctor, only to have a different doctor lecturing me, and she was _real_ mean! I didn't stay long enough for her to actually make me feel killing myself, I wouldn't let her shut me down like that. I've vowed never to go back. I know I should, but I _can _do this on my own, I think. I don't need people lecturing me right now! I know I'm in the wrong, I know I'm stupid and I know I'm just a kid! I just need people off my back and room to breathe, just for a little while, and then I'll sort it all out. I promise myself I'll sort it all out.

As for Gordie, over the last few weeks I pleaded with him not to tell anyone. He was logical in saying I can't hide under my baggy clothes for long, but I needed the time to figure out what I wanted to do. No one's noticed, yet, thank God! To be honest, it was a relief having Gordie know, he's so supportive. Everyone was too busy with Christmas and then the New Year to notice me and my gaining weight, at least I hope. I guess I can always tell people that I ate too much and I'm having a food baby.

Oh, and just so you know, it didn't snow for Christmas, not this year. Nor did it for my 14th birthday last week.

Oh, by the way, Happy New Year! I can't believe it's 1961!

I couldn't find anything to fit me this morning! This is getting ridiculous. No, I don't have a very large tummy yet, well, I am showing now that I'm at 15 weeks. It sounds like a long time ago this, _thing_,was conceived.

Shudder.

Let's not talk about that.

I had a lousy day of avoiding Chris at school. He hasn't really spoken to me lately, which gives me the feeling he's doing all the avoiding. I dunno. All I know is that whenever I'm left with him, I can't help but get choked up. I can't even say hello without wanting to cry. What the hell's wrong with me?

'How you dooin'?' Gordie asked me as we walked home from school.

The other guys were way behind messing with something Teddy had stole from science class. I'm not even going to speculate on what part of the human anatomy sculpture he'd stolen.

'I'm okay.' I shrugged. 'I've stopped throwing up, so I'm feeling much better.'

'You have? That's great!' Gordie grinned holding my hand. 'Have you figured anything out yet? I know! I don't mean to push you, but you have to decide on something or….'

I cut Gordie off. '-I'm going to keep it.' I quickly smiled at him while I rubbed underneath my tummy. Jesus! I'm going to have to stop doing that!

Gordie's eyes were wide. 'You are? Are you sure?'

I looked back to see where the guys were. Further away enough for them not to hear us.

'I think I should tell my mom, and then maybe go live with her over the summer.' I wasn't sure but at least I had some sort of a plan.

'Would she look after it?' Gordie questioned. 'I mean, you are coming back, right?' he stared at me waiting for an answer.

'Sure! I don't want to live in Lewiston permanently, just 'till the baby's born.' I said giving Gordie a little smile to let him know I had been thinking this through. I'm not completely hopeless.

'You called it a "baby".' He chuckled watching me rub my tummy.

I was confused. 'What?'

'For weeks you've been referring to it as an "it". You just called "it" a "baby".' Gordie smiled.

'I did, didn't I?' I kinda smiled reminding myself to keep my hands away from my baby bump and tuck them into my pockets.

Thinking back on it, my calling the being inside my womb a "baby" scared me. I'm really having this _thing_, aren't I?

I think I should visit the library and get some books to read up on this!

'Ev?' Gordie asked after a long pause. 'Are you going to tell me who the father is?'

A steel ball just dropped from my throat to the pit of my stomach. I felt sick. I can't face telling anyone. I shook my head. 'No, Gordie.' I quickly whispered.

Gordie tried to be sensitive. 'I think _he_ needs to know, ya know?' he said with a slight shrug as he held my cold hand.

I bit my lip. 'I know, but I don't think I _can _tell him.'

'Why not? So you_ do_ know _who _it is then?' Gordie asked letting go of my hand.

What the hell was he suggesting? That I was easy? 'Yes Gordie. I know _who_ he is!' I shouted frowning at him.

'…And you ain't gonna tell me, are you?' he asked as if I'd tricked him.

I shook my head.

'What are you pussies talking about?' Teddy asked as he ran over jumping on my back.

'Teddy!' I yelled pushing him away. He'd scared the hell out of me!

'Be careful Teddy, you dick!' Gordie yelled.

'Whoa!' Teddy glared surrendering himself. 'What the fuck's with you two?'

Gordie shoved Teddy in the shoulder. 'You'll hurt her doing that!'

Teddy laughed his stupid laugh 'Eeee eee eee, you stupid wet, Lachance!'

I snorted at Teddy. His stupid laugh always made me smile.

Gordie shot me a look of annoyance. 'What if you'd fallen down!' Gordie yelled at me. 'It isn't funny!'

Teddy laughed as he placed his arm around my shoulders. 'She'd just get right back up!'

I shrugged, and then remembered what Gordie was referring to. I gave Gordie a little apologetic nod. Gordie looked really pissed at me, and Teddy.

'You stupid son of a bitch!' Gordie spat at Teddy. 'You could've hurt the baby!'

I looked at Gordie wide eyed. I can't believe he just yelled that out! I shot a look to Chris and Vern, they were laughing at something further back.

Gordie stood with his mouth wide open, realizing what he'd said.

Teddy stopped laughing and came to a standstill. He stared at Gordie then back at me several times before an exclamation mark appeared above his head. 'Wh…' Teddy looked at me in shock.

I quickly slapped my hand over Teddy's mouth before he could utter anything else. I shook my head at Teddy as I held him still. 'Don't, just don't!'

Teddy's eyes shot down to my stomach in amazement. He began to mumble something from under my hand. He even drooled on me.

I took my hand away and wiped it on my skirt. 'Eww!'

Gordie shook his head at Teddy. 'Sorry, Ev. I didn't think…'

Teddy stood with his mouth open half grinning. 'I fucking knew it!' He whispered.

I took a deep breath. 'It's okay Gordie.' I looked to Teddy. 'Hopefully dipshit here will keep his mouth shut?'

Teddy sniggered. 'I fuckin knew you were! ' he moved his hand towards my stomach. 'I knew you were getting a little porky!' he laughed.

I slapped Teddy's hand away before he could touch my tummy. 'Thank you Teddy, you're too sensitive, you know that?'

Gordie pulled me and Teddy to walk on a little faster as Vern and Chris were catching up.

Teddy grinned astonished. 'Who the fuckdid you _fuck_?'

'No one!' I yelled. 'I'm not saying!'

'This is fucking real gone!' Teddy chuckled. 'Is it Gordie's?'

'NO!' Gordie and I yelled in unison.

Teddy must have though this situation was hilarious. 'Vern's?'

I slapped Teddy on the shoulder. 'NO!'

'IT'S CHAMBERS'S ISN'T IT?' Teddy yelled grinning.

I frowned at him. 'Shut the fuck up, Teddy!'

'Jesus, it is, isn't it?' Teddy poked me. 'I knew it!'

Gordie looked to Teddy worried. 'Just, leave her alone, okay?'

'Then…who?' Teddy stopped to think. 'Coz I know it aint me, I woulda pulled out.' Teddy winked then laughed.

I glared at Teddy. 'You're so fucking disgusting, Teddy.' Just the thought of having sex with my best friend made my stomach turn.

Gordie quickly punched Teddy in the shoulder. 'Good going, asshole!'

'So? Who's the _daddy_?' Teddy asked jumping in front of me smirking. 'Who's the_ lucky_ guy?'

'Leave it, Teddy!' I said getting annoyed.

'Aww!' Teddy backed down. 'Pregnant women are no fun!'

Gordie grabbed Teddy by his jacket. 'Keep your fucking voice down!' he said through his teeth.

'Okay, okay!' Teddy surrendered holding up his hands.

Gordie grabbed my hand pulling me across the street, down the road from my house.

Teddy followed. 'Jeez..' he grinned 'You could _at least_ have let me go first!'

What the hell? I turned around ready to smack Teddy right in his repulsive mouth, only for Gordie to not let go of my hand and pull me back.

Teddy snickered to himself. 'Chambers is gonna be _pissed_! You may as well pick out your casket now.' He laughed.

Gordie shoved Teddy into the road. 'You're such an asshole!'

Teddy scrunched up his face as if he were crying. '_Oooohooo!_ _You're such an asshole.' _Teddy mocked in a whiny voice.

Gordie grinned and laughed a little. I don't blame him, Teddy makes everyone laugh.

You know, Teddy's right about one thing, Chris _is _gonna be pissed, _really_ fucking pissed!


	11. Chapter 11

Getting ready for school this morning I had to endure Charlie Hogan and Billy teasing me about being a goody two shoes. I'm not, I don't think so, whatever! They don't know me!

'If you think I'm such a goody two shoes…' I stop and stare Billy right in the eyes as I put on my jacket. '…It's because I don't want to end up like you!'

'Us?' Billy laughs.

'Yeah! You!' I couldn't help but yell. 'You'll all be stuck in this shit hole of a town for the rest of your pathetic lives!'

'Is that right?' My brother calmly asked me from behind.

I turned towards the kitchen as I flung my satchel over my shoulder. 'Yeah.' I almost whisper. I didn't want my brother hearing me say that. For him, it was like telling him he was a lowlife just like my pathetic drunk of a father.

'She thinks she's better than you, Ace.' Charlie snorts as he's leant against the kitchen door frame.

'Yeah?' my brother asks me with a stern look.

I sneer at my brother as I turn to open the front door.

I knew he'd follow me, that's why I quickened my pace. I was stupid to pick a fight with my brother in the morning, but Billy and Charlie pissed me right off. I was in the right mood for a fight!

'You think you're better than me?' My brother yelled as he slammed the front door closed before I even got a foot out. 'I don't know if you've noticed lately, _princess_, but you aint doin' so good, are you?.' My brother gazed at me. 'Ditching class, flunkin' school…' he snorted. 'Hanging around with losers that'll end up in traction by next year…'

'You don't know them.' I said as I faced him. My brother towered over me but I wasn't going to let him intimidate me. 'You've no idea.' I frown.

'I know them better than you think I do. They're no different from every other guy you know. ' He laughs. 'If you go down with them, I won't help you back up.'

'Move!' I tried my best to contain my anger as I tried to push past my brother to get out the door. 'Fucking move!'

'You wanna know another little fact?' my brother asks holding the front door shut. 'You're just like mom.'

I wanted to cry. I never wanted to be compared to her!

I shake my head as I look my brother in the eyes. 'I am not.' I whisper.

My brother smirked as he watched me. 'You're a whore in the making. Get used to it.'

Billy and Charlie snort.

I stare at John for a moment. 'For all the shit you've pulled over the years, for beating up my best friends….I still love you, but not because I have to.'

My brother almost gawked as he stepped away from the door and let me by. I reckon I hit a sensitive spot, I meant to because I really do care for him, I have to. John is the only family I have.

I walked as far as the church and took a seat on the cold bench next to Vern. I couldn't figure if he was early for a changer or if it was me who was late.

'You okay?' Vern asked as I placed my head in my hands.

I nodded. That was all the confirmation I could give to Vern. If I'd spoken I know for a fact I would choke up and cry. I'm not going to cry, not for what my brother said! I'm nothing like my fucking mother!

Vern kept talking about something or other and continued rambling when Gordie and Teddy arrived. I could tell Gordie and Teddy wanted to ask me something (about Chris?) but Vern was there. I don't think they would have risked it. Gordie mentioned that Chris wasn't meeting us this morning. I assumed it was because I would be there. Whatever! Right now I don't really give a damn!

Mr. Tweed didn't show up for Social Studies this afternoon. I figured he'd had a heart attack and I smiled at the thought. He didn't, he has the "flu" a.k.a a man cold. We had a substitute instead, some old lady, she seemed okay. As soon as she stepped her foot into the classroom she made a deal with us. We keep the noise down, and we can go home 10 minutes early. We agreed and amused ourselves whilst filling out our geography quiz.

Someone prodded me with a pencil while I decided to take a nap. I turned my head to my right, and it was Vern.

'Which country does question 2's flag belong to?' he asked leaning over slightly to see if I'd answered any of my questions. I hadn't.

I looked to my paper and recognized the slanting green, yellow and red bands of color.

'Rep of the Congo.' I smiled at Vern whilst he quickly circled one of the four possible answering letters.

'and…' Vern searched his test paper. '..and the cur..cur-en-see.. of Japan?' he asked frowning at his paper. 'What's a cur…current..'

'Currency?' I asked. 'It means money. Different countries use different money. Japan uses the Yen as we use the Dollar.' I yawned.

'Oh! Gee, thanks!' Vern grinned circling another letter. 'What about?…' he asked as he read in monotone. 'In which of these countries do people drive on the left side of the road?'

I looked to my paper. It asked China, Mongolia, Japan or Russia. 'Japan, Vern.'

'Thanks!' Vern beamed. 'Why aint you doin' your quiz?'

I shrugged. 'I can't be bothered.' I was being honest. I was worn out and all I wanted to do was eat and sleep. I also need to pee, really badly.

I raised my hand hoping the sub would see that I needed her attention.

She looked up as her eyes scanned the classroom. 'Yes?' she asked in a harsh voice.

'Can I have a bathroom pass?' I smiled sweetly. 'Please?' I squirmed in my seat.

She grunted a little as she motioned for me to come up to the desk for her to hand me a card.

I quickly jamp out of my seat, thanked her as I took the card and headed out of the classroom.

The hallway was very quiet. I've always questioned bathroom passes. In all the years I've asked for one, no one has _ever_stopped me in the hallway to ask why I was out of class and where I was headed. What a waste of time.

'Hey!' a familiar voice called from behind as I pushed on the girl's bathroom door.

It was Chris. Was he talking to me again? How did he get out of class?

'Hey.' I smiled a little as I waited for him to near.

'Can we talk, Ev?' Chris asked a little solemn. '..about…._us_?'

All I could do was nod. The moment Chris said '_us__'_ my stomach began to hurt. Whenever Chris was this serious you couldn't use words. All you could do was to listen and nod, or you'd risk pissing him off. Chris sighed a little as he searched the hallway. I could tell right then and there that he had a speech prepared. I was starting to scare myself with thoughts that he didn't want to be my friend anymore, that he was sick of the way I've been treating him…or maybe Gordie told him about my, _situation_! Oh God I hope not! I suddenly needed to pee really badly but I couldn't risk ditching Chris in case he'd take it the wrong way.

'Chris…' I whispered. 'I need to pee.' I almost danced on the spot from the pain in my bladder.

'Okay.' Chris shrugged. 'I'll wait.'

Wait? No, he'd get caught!

'Do you have a bathroom pass?' I searched his hands.

Chris shook his head. 'I snuck out right after you.' He didn't smile.

'Oh..' was all I could say. Why didn't he smile? Does he hate me?

'You planning on peeing right here?' Chris asked as he gazed at me. 'I think the bathroom's more appropriate.' He rolled his eyes pushing the girls bathroom door open.

For the first few seconds I was thinking that it was very gentleman of Chris to hold the door open for me, until he followed me in.

'You can't come in here!' I shook my head at Chris scanning the bathroom. I think we were alone. I hope to hell we are!

'Why not?' he shrugged. 'You gotta pee, I gotta talk.'

'You're a guy.' I said without thought. I shook my head at my own stupid remark. 'Okay..okay…stand right there, okay?' I pointed behind the bathroom door to a space he could hide if anyone came in.

I propped every bathroom stall door open on my way to the end cubical. We were alone. Now all I could think was, would Chris be able to hear me pee? Stupid, I know, but no one likes to hear anyone else pee, do they?

'Chris?' I quietly asked as I was sat on the toilet.

'Yeah?' he asked clearing his throat a little.

'You're making me nervous.' I snorted.

Chris didn't joke, he remained serious. 'I'm like fifty feet away. Want me to turn on the tap?'

'Would you?' I smiled.

I heard Chris scuttle over to the sink near him and turn on the cold water tap. I swear it's the grates noise ever!

'Are you mad at me?' I asked in the safety of my stall. 'If you are, I'm sorry…'

'Maybe..' Chris sounded a little annoyed.

'Why?' Was all I could ask as I tried to yell over the noise of the running water.

'Because…' Chris stopped.

I waited for him to continue but nothing came. I quickly finished and headed out to wash my hands. Chris wasn't looking at me. He seemed more interested in twisting on and off the cold water tap.

'Chris..?' I asked as I wiped my wet hands in my skirt. 'because…?'

Chris shrugged after he decided to leave the tap alone. 'Because I've heard things about you…' He mumbled a little not looking at me.

'Like what?' I spoke bluntly. Please, please, _please_ don't say you've heard I'm pregnant!

Chris looked up for a second then back to the tap.

'Heard what, Chris?.' I tried to coax him.

'Why are you avoiding me?' Chris looked me in the eyes.

I shook my head. 'I'm not.' I mumbled as I tried to lie. 'I know I've been weird lately….'

'Weird? Yeah, sure!' Chris frowned at me.

'What the hell is that supposed to mean?' I frowned back.

Chris didn't answer. He looked as if he was afraid of hurting me, or learning the truth.

'Chris, tell me or I'm leaving.' I sighed. 'Too much shit has already happened today and I can't deal with anymore…'

'One of Teddy's friends said you didn't go to the dance because you planned on hooking up with some guy. Some older guy from the high school…'

I cut Chris off yelling. '…and what? Let me guess! We hooked up, head to The Point to make out and fuck like rabbits until the sun comes up?'

Chris stared at me a little stunned. I wasn't stunned by what I'd just said. I knew exactly what those friends of Teddy had probably said after I left our last meeting open. 'I thought you were better than that, Chris.' I sniffed.

'That's why I needed to know…' Chris grasped my arm.

'I'm not like my brother and I'm definitely not like my fucking mother!' I spat as I made my way out of the bathroom.

'What?' Chris yelled after me. 'I never said…'

I rushed back into class throwing the substitute my bathroom pass as I headed to my desk. I quickly grabbed my satchel off the floor as I avoided everyone's eyes. I guess by now, within the first few seconds of me storming into the classroom with Chris behind me, they'd guessed I was crying. I turned towards the door and walked out slamming it behind me.

Chris Chambers has _never_made me cry before. I never even thought he was capable of such a thing. I hate him for making me feel like shit!


	12. Chapter 12

Since two of the guy's now know, Gordie and Teddy, it won't be long before everyone figures out. So, I've decided to tell the father.

I'm getting bigger by the day and my bump is getting a little tricky to hide, even under baggy clothes. None of my pants fit me properly and I don't want to be wearing skirts in winter, so Teddy keeps telling me.

The Cobras are all at my home tonight, maybe I should tell John first? I had an opportunity, if only I could get him on his own.

'Aren't you sleeping over?' Teddy asked as I lay next to him on his bed.

After I stormed out of school this afternoon Teddy found me sat on the sidewalk in town, crying. As Teddy walked up to me I thought he was Chris trying to apologize, luckily it _was _Teddy or World War Three would've broken out, I aint kidding! So, I went home with Teddy and I slept in his bed for a few hours as he lay next to me watching me. I didn't mind Teddy watching me, it was nice, weird, but nice. He didn't try to touch my stomach, so I was grateful for that. I can't handle anyone touching me.

'No, I should go home, Ted.' I whispered as I kept my eyes closed.

'I don't want you to go…' Teddy moved a little closer. 'It's late, you shouldn't walk by yourself. Stay here?'

I lay for a moment wondering how close Teddy's lips were to mine. It was a bizarre feeling having his breath on my lips. I opened my eyes, and he _was_ pretty close.

I sat up. 'Thank you, Teddy.' I turned to smile at him. 'I mean it. Truly, but I have to go home before I get my ass kicked.'

'Ace wouldn't hurt you, would he?' Teddy asked a little scared.

I shook my head. 'No, but I'm in enough trouble as it is' I rolled my eyes as I placed my hand on my tummy.

Teddy smiled up at me. 'No problem. Just be careful, okay?'

'I will.' I chuckled as I hopped over Teddy and off his bed.

'Ev?' Teddy smiled as he turned to his side to watch me search for my jacket. 'If things don't work out, come back, okay?'

I yawned and nodded as I made my way up the basement stairs. 'I love you too, Teddy.'

I heard Teddy chuckle, and I knew he was grinning. It doesn't take much to make him grin.

'Ev…?' Teddy called once again.

I stopped and turned to face him. 'Yeah?'

He smiled as he sat up to face me. 'Your baby is a about the size of a big orange.'

I looked to Teddy a little stunned. 'How'd you know that?'

'Gordo and I looked it up at the library.' He shrugged. 'It can blink and suck its own thumb too.' He snorted.

'Wow.' I grinned. I must have had the dopiest grin because Teddy started laughing at me.

As I headed home and through my backdoor all prepared with my speech, Chris was at my front door. I thought I was seeing things! If_ any_ of the Cobras has spotted him there, he would have been dead in a matter of seconds!

I rushed outside to warn him.

'Chris!' I whispered grabbing on his arm 'What the hell….' He didn't let me finish.

'WHO THE FUCK'S THE FATHER?' he screamed pulling his arm away from me.

WHAT? How the _hell _did he find out?

'How….?' I stared at him. His eyes were all red as if he'd been crying.

'WHO EVELYN?' he screamed.

'Chris?..' I spoke softly so he'd keep his voice down. I pulled on his arm once again trying to make sure he was out of view of anyone inside my home.

'DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME,!' Chris was enraged. 'IT WAS TRUE WASN'T IT? YOU AN' THAT HIGH SCHOOL GUY?'

'Chris, stop yelling, my brother and…'

'I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOUR BROTHER BEATS ME TO DEATH!' he screamed taking a glance inside my porch window. 'I need to know!'

I stood staring at Chris. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I couldn't.

'EV!' Chris tried to calm himself down.

I pulled on Chris's hand, he shoved me away and followed me silently down the street. I was hurt that he didn't want me touching him but the further away from home, the better.

'Who told you?' I asked as I walked with Chris.

'Gordie.' Chris spoke as he frowned at me.

'Gordie?' I asked irritated. 'I told him to not to tell!'

Chris didn't respond.

'That's the last time I ever tell…'

'We had a …fight.' Chris said gritting his teeth to control his emotions.

'WHAT?' I stopped walking and looked at him. 'WHY?'

'I knew something was going on!' Chris wouldn't look at me. 'I got it out of him, he said you were..' Chris gestured to my stomach and exhaled deeply. 'I thought it was his!' He frowned.

'So you beat _Gordie_ up?' I yelled. 'Are you fucking insane?'

'He had it fucking coming!' Chris stared into my eyes. 'I thought he was lying… I didn't believe he didn't know!'

I shook my head. I'm disappointed in Chris, he's never sunk so low.

Chris didn't look at me. 'Is it? Is it Gordie's, Teddy's?' he asked angrily.

I answered directly. 'No, Chris.'

Chris gave me a look. I knew he'd ask again. 'Don't fuckin' lie to me, Evelyn!'

'It's NOT Gordie, Vern's or Teddy's!' I stormed as I stared into Chris's eyes.

Chris stared at me frowning trying to hold back his rage.

I guess I _had_ to tell Chris who the father is. 'It's…' I couldn't say his name. It physically made me feel sick to even think his name.

Chris eyes were filled with tears. 'WHO EVELYN?' He screamed.

I felt myself completely drain as I tried to swallow the steel lump in my throat. My chest was so tight I could hardly breathe. I whispered as I sobbed. 'It's your brothers.'

Chris clenched his fists frowning. I could swear he was going to hit me as I stepped away a little. He didn't. He dropped to his knees and sat in the road in shock.

I stood looking down at him. My eyes filled with tears as I watched him. I wanted him to yell at me, hit me, call me a whore, anything!

'Why?' Chris whispered as he shed tears.

Oh my god! He's crying! I've never seen him cry before!

I felt as if my legs were about to give way, so I sat in the road facing him.

Chris looked at me with his eyes full of tears. 'WHY?'

Looking at Chris, my eyes flooded with tears, I didn't know where to start. I'm not ever ready to tell him!

'Is that why you were avoiding me, you were with, _him_?' He clenched his lips showing his pain. 'Is that why you wouldn't even let me_ touch_ you?'

I shook my head. 'I avoided you because I didn't want you to find out….' I sobbed as I tried to speak.

'To find out you were fucking my _brother_?' Chris raised his voice.

'No, to find out…' I stopped. I can't tell him!

'WHAT?' Chris screamed. 'THAT HE'S BETTER THAN I AM?'

I shook my head furiously as I tried to stop the tears. I've never thought of Chris as being lower than _anyone_!

'No. no, Chris!' I cried. 'He….' I couldn't speak. Chris was beginning to scare me.

Chris stood up. 'YOU'RE FUCKING PATHETIC!' he yelled. 'To think I fucking _liked_ you…'

'No, Chris!' I yelled looking up to explain.

Chris started to walk away. 'I hope you're both fucking happy together!'

'Chris!' I stood up yelling after him 'CHRIS! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!'

I choked as I cried. I didn't want him leaving me like this.

Chris turned taking a few steps back to me. 'You want to know what its LIKE?' he paused 'FUCK YOU, and fuck Richie!'

I tried to tell Chris the truth, but I choked so bad it hurt. I never, ever though it hurt this much to talk.

Chris walked toward me a little more. 'I DON'T NEED TO FUCKING HEAR IT, EV!' he screamed as he stood in place.

I fell back to the ground sobbing. 'He…' I couldn't say it.

Chris walked a little closer. 'I_ loved_ you, you know that?' Chris paused for a second looking daggers at me. 'I. fucking. Loved. You.' he whispered.

I looked up to him as he started to turn.

'He…he..made me, Chris.' I sniffed as I willed myself to tell the truth. 'I was drunk and I never wanted to.' I whispered as I choked out those words. I finally said it. After months of pretending it never happened, I finally let it out.

Chris stood still with his back to me. He didn't say a word. He didn't even turn to look at me, he didn't even look as if he was breathing.

I don't care if Chris hadn't heard, that was the truth.


	13. Chapter 13

So now you know who the father is, I guess I'd better tell you, and Chris, what happened.

Last October, the 12th I believe, all the Cobras were at my house. The warm summer breeze had just ended as it broke into a cold autumn draft.

It was still quite warm out in the evening, but the guys drank their beers and loafed around indoors. It was getting dark a little earlier so I didn't blame them.

I'd been drinking. I know, I was only 13, almost 14, but my brother was there. I know John aka. Ace isn't a _responsible_ adult, but he looked out for me. Well, he kind of ordered me to stay at home a lot after the Ray Brower incident that had happened a year back while I visited my mother in Lewiston. I never forgave the Cobras for beating up my best friends!

Anyway, the Cobras were goofing around and I decided to get some air. I took a walk out back and headed down to the stream we have running through the forest at the far end of my yard. My brother had an old car down there. I don't know what model, but it was blue. He said he's fix it up when he had the cash, but never did. It was a real pretty car. I named her buttons. She had rust patched that looks as if she'd been sewn up.

'Cold out…' Eyeball said looking up at the night's sky.

I jamp out of my skin when I heard him speak, I thought I was alone.

I shrugged and tossed a few pebbles into the stream then turned to face him. I nodded as I walked away from the stream.

'What you dooin out here?' He asked sipping his beer.

'Air.' I smiled sitting on the hood of the rusty old car.

Eyeball walked towards me and leant on the passenger door. 'You still hang with my brother, huh?'

I smiled and nodded. 'Chris's cool. Maybe if you guys didn't battle so much you'd see.'

'He's a little shit!' Eyeball said tossing his bottle in to the darkness.

'Because of what happened with that dead kid?' I asked rocking my legs back and forth as I sat on the car.

'Yeah, pretty much.' He mumbled. 'You're lucky you weren't there.' Eyeball stared at me for a moment. 'We woula fucking killed you.'

As much as Eyeball scared me when he said that, I don't think my brother would have gone _that_ far if I was there. Good thing I wasn't!

Eyeball shifted a little closer. It didn't bother me because he was Chris's brother, my brother's best friend and I thought he was pretty much harmless when he wasn't with the Cobras. 'So, you guys tight? ' he asked smiling at me.

'Yeah. We all are.' I smiled looking at my shoes.

'What about me?' he smiled suggestively.

'What? You're okay.' I shrugged. 'I guess.'

'Is that it?' He asked raising his eyebrows.

I laughed. 'Yeah, I guess.'

'How much have you had?' he laughed at me.

I shrugged and grinned. 'One?'

'More like seven!' He chuckled.

'I don't think I can drink _that_ much!' I yawned then laughed.

I was sleepy. I think Eyeball was right. I'd positively had more than one beer, definitely less than three! Alcohol made me tired. Is it supposed to make you sleepy?

'Hey!' Eyeball spoke loudly almost making me jump.

'Huh?' I asked looking at him stood in front of me.

Eyeball was pressed against the car, separating my knees. He had his hands either side of me, palms flat against the car. He chuckled a little. 'Kinda drifted off there, huh?'

I slowly nodded. My head was whirling. I tried to push myself off the hood of the car, only for Eyeball to hold me by my hips, impeding me.

'Where ya goin'?' he smiled at me.

'To bed?' I asked.

Eyeball leant his face close to mine. His lips were almost touching mine. I could feel the warmth from his breath inside my mouth as I breathed in.

I lifted my hands only for him to place his hands on top of mine to keep me sat on the car.

He gently licked my bottom lip as if he wanted to get a taste of the beer I'd been drinking. I didn't want him kissing me so I moved my head to the side, but Eyeball placed his grip on my face to stop me turning away from him.

He was gentle at first but as soon as I tried to push past him again he began to get a little forceful.

'I don't want to do this.' I whispered.

'Shhh!' he said as he pressed his face against my ear.

'I've been drinking….Richie…' I spoke in a whimper as I pushed his hands off my chest.

He placed his hands on my thighs and slid them up my skirt pulling me closer to him.

'You don't know what you want.' he whispered in to my ear.

'Richie, stop..please!' I tried to push him off as he yanked at my panties.

He didn't listen. He carried on biting my neck and rubbing himself against me.

'Richie…' I tried to speak as I grabbed onto his wrists to stop him. 'I want to go back inside.' I tried to push past him.

'As soon as I've been… inside.' He snickered at his own sick joke.

I worked up the courage to shove him away a little but this only angered him.

'Move Richie!' I yelled. 'I want to go back inside!' I yelled shoving him in the chest with my arms.

He quickly grabbed me by the neck. 'As soon as I'm done, you can go! OKAY?'

I dug my fingernails in to the back of his hand, scraping at the skin.

He yelled in pain as he slapped me across the face. 'YOU BITCH!'

It hurt like hell, but as soon as he stepped back in frustration to take care of his wound, I quickly jamp off the hood of the car to make a run for my house.

'You aint fucking leaving!' Eyeball barked as he took hold of my waist.

I tried to scream except he'd already cupped my mouth with his hand.

'Be a good little girl, and then you can go!' he hissed as he had my back pressed against his chest.

I tried with every ounce of my being to fight him off, but he slammed me face down against the bonnet and leant over me to stop me struggling.

'I'm not gonna hurt you, just relax.' He whispered warmly in my ear. 'Stop fighting me and I'll let ya go, okay?' he spoke so gently and sincerely, I stopped trying to fight him.

I knew what was coming and I could do _anything _to stop him. I didn't want him to hurt me anymore and I didn't want to be alone with him a second longer than I had to. He was bigger than me, I couldn't fight him off. I was stupid to even think that! I was stupid to be drinking in the first place!

I let him do what he wanted and he let me go, just like he'd said.

As I walked in to the house and reached the bottom of the stairs, he chuckled 'Night night, Evelyn.' As if nothing had happened.


	14. Chapter 14

'Chris?' I whispered as I watched him sit in the road facing me in shock.

He slowly looked up to me.

He didn't say a word.

I whimpered. 'Please say something, Chris.'

Chris shook his head. 'I'm going to… FUCKING KILL HIM!' Chris shot to his feet.

I too jamp to my feet. 'No Chris!' I grasped his arm. 'Don't complicate things, please!' I cried.

'My dad still has the gun in his bureau…' he trailed off.

'No Chris, please! I can't handle anymore! Please!' I sobbed clutching on to his hand.

He tried to smile at me. 'Just go home.'

'Chris! Please!' I pulled on his hand to stop him leaving.

'Ev, just go home.' He spoke calmly. 'I'm sorry for blaming you.' He cupped my face. 'Go home.'

Chris calmly started down the road and this terrified me. It wasn't like him to act like this at all! I decided I had to let him go, I could warn Eyeball, before_ he_ went home.

I ran inside my house looking for him. He was in the kitchen with Jack.

'Richie..' my voice broke as I spoke.

I can't believe I have to talk to him _now_ after all this time.

Eyeball turned to face me.

'Can I talk to you?' I asked him as I looked to Jack as I wiped my eyes.

Eyeball gave me a suggestive smile. 'Sure.'

I walked out the back door keeping close to the house. Being in his presence scared me. Having his baby inside me _petrified_ me!

'What's up?' he asked grinning at me resting an arm against the side of the house.

I stared at him. 'Chris.' I said swallowing hard.

Eyeball shook his head turning away as if he didn't want to hear about his younger brother.

'He's pissed at you! He went home to get your dad's gun.' I informed him.

He shrugged turning back to me. 'Big fucking deal.'

What the hell? Was he stupid?

I stared at him in disbelief. 'He's on his way back-' I tried to explain as Eyeball cut me off.

He leant towards my face. '-Big. Fucking. Deal.' He scoffed. 'I know what you really want.' he grinned persuasively.

I felt a rush of fear and sickness run right through me at the belief he was thinking about four months ago. I started to hyperventilate.

'He's going to fucking kill you, Richie!' I tried to yell.

Eyeball shrugged and laughed. 'So?'

'Wh…?' I couldn't believe he was so calm. 'He knows what you did to me!' I screamed. 'He knows I'm having your baby!'

'He doesn't know…' he stopped and stared at me. 'YOU… WHAT?' he advanced on me.

I trembled. I didn't want to be outside with him anymore. At least he knows now, its' up to him if he doesn't want Chris shooting at him!

Eyeball grabbed my arm as I tried to leave. 'You fucking liar!' He spat in my face. 'If you're knocked up It's not fucking mine!'

'You know it is.' I sobbed.

Eyeball let me go for a moment to reach for the back of his shirt.

I paced back a little. I was weary of him hitting me again.

'It's not fucking mine!' he sneered at me.

'It is.' I whispered. 'You know what you did.'

Eyeball removed his hand from the back of his shirt.

He had his fathers' gun.

He had it pointed at me.

He was livid. 'Fucking say that again, an' I pull the trigger!'

I paced back some more. I was afraid he _would_ pull the trigger.

'Wanna say that again, bitch?' He lividly stared at me.

I shook my head as I paced back a little more. I didn't want to risk saying anything.

Eyeball gently followed me. 'Another word and I'll see that it's your last.' He whispered.

I made a run for it. I ran down to the old rusty car. If I run fast enough I doubt he'd catch me up as he's drunk enough for his judgment to be slightly impaired.

I reached the car and crouched down beside it. I haven't been here since.. _that_ night.

Two big black boots and dark jeans came into view as I sat on the ground.

Oh my god! I'm dead! I closed my eyes tightly. I'm dead!

'Where'd he go?' a voice whispered.

I opened my eyes and Chris was crouched down next to me.

'Chris!' I whispered in relief.

Chris looked at me for a moment as if he'd changed his mind about going home. 'I'm sorry for what I said to you back on the road.' He spoke grasping my hand.

'It's okay.' I nodded.

Chris shook his head. 'No. it's not. I could never hate you, and I did. I'm sorry!' Chris looked distressed. 'Where is he?' he looked over the car searching for his brother.

I smiled at him. I'm glad he didn't hate me, that was enough for me, that's all I needed to hear from Chris.

'How fucking romantic!' Eyeball sneered holding the gun to Chris.

'YOU BASTARD!' Chris sneered right back as he jamp to his feet.

'This whore tell you a bunch of lies?' Eyeball asked Chris motioning to me.

'SHE WOULDN'T-' he didn't let Chris finish.

'-She fucking _loved_ it!' he chortled looking to the gun lowered at his side.

'You're just like Frank!' Chris frowned at him. 'I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!'

W-Who the _hell_ is Frank?

'Go ahead little brother.' Eyeball spoke shifting his finger to the trigger. 'Who has the gun now, huh?'

'It's your baby, Rich!' he shouted. 'YOURS!' He screamed at the top of his lungs.

'Then lets do somethin' about it..' Eyeball spoke walking around the car to face me.

I swear I stopped breathing. He had the gun pointed at me.

'DON'T POINT THAT FUCKING THING AT HER, RICHIE!' Chris screamed.

Eyeball put his finger to his lips. 'Shhhh..or I'll shoot her in the head.'

Chris backed down a little.

'Is it mine?' he asked looking to me without emotion.

I nodded as I chewed on my bottom lip.

'FUCKING SAY THE WORDS!' he screamed making me jump.

'It's yours.' I whispered.

Eyeball almost let out a smile as he cocked his head to one side.

BANG!

He fired the gun hitting the bumper. I swear Chris and I jamp _right_ out of our skins!

'IS IT FUCKING MINE?' Eyeball screamed again.

I nodded. What else did he want me to say?

'Fine. I believe you.' He smiled and pointed the gun to my stomach.

'PUT DOWN THE FUCKING GUN!' Chris screamed ready to tackle his brother.

'If its mine…' Eyeball smiled looking to Chris. 'I gotta get rid, right?'

Chris shook his head looking to me. 'YOU FUCKING BASTARD!' he yelled tackling his brother.

Eyeball grabbed a hold of Chris and elbowed him in the stomach.

Chris fell to the ground coughing in agony.

Eyeball smiled at me pointing the gun at Chris. 'I gotta get rid, right?'

I shook my head desperate to make any sort of noise come out of my mouth. Please don't hurt Chris! Please please please…

'Run!' Chris coughed. 'Run, Ev!'

Before I could lift myself off of the ground I heard another gun shot.

BANG!

This one didn't make me jump _out_ of my skin.

This one was _in_ my skin.

I looked down and saw a black stain form on the front of my blouse.

'Ev!' Chris whispered as he held his own stomach.

Eyeball snorted and calmly walked off into the darkness.

The black stain expanded down the front of my blouse and down the side of my skirt.

I began to cry as Chris hurried towards me, heavily dropping to his knees.

'Chris?' I cried.

'Stay still okay?' Chris rubbed my arms looking around. 'Stay still, Ev!'

I closed my eyes and leant forward into Chris's chest. I stared to drift into unconsciousness.

I don't know why, but it didn't even hurt, I couldn't feel a thing.

'EV!' Chris yelled slapping my face. 'Stay with me!' he spoke as he slid his arms around me lifting me off the ground. 'GOD DAMNIT YOU BETTER STAY WITH ME!'


	15. Chapter 15

I woke in a hospital bed not sure of the day. I turned my head to my left to see my mother. She kinda surprised me. She never came to visit me, she hasn't stepped _one _foot back into Castle Rock since the day she up and left my father!

She reached over to rub the back of my hand.

I searched the ward and other beds and chairs for anyone else I knew, there was no one.

'Mom?' I flinched as it hurt to speak.

She gazed at me. 'It's okay, you're safe now.'

I laid a hand on my stomach, all I felt was some sort of padding, and it was as flat as anything. I began to cry.

'Oh, no no hunny!' My mom leant over reassuring me. 'Why didn't you tell me, darling?'

I rubbed where my baby bump had been. I missed it. I never thought I would. I so desperately wanted it back! 'I was going to..' I answered trying to sit up. It hurt like hell. 'Where's Chris?' I asked starting to cry.

'Home.' She answered sharply as she rubbed my arm.

'Is he okay?' I looked to her making sure she wouldn't lie to me.

She answered by shaking her head. She made it obvious she was angry at Chris. 'It's best you stay here with me for a while.'

What the hell was she talking about "say here"? I don't need to stay in hospital! 'Here?' I asked looking around the ward.

'With me. Rick doesn't mind you moving in for a while.' My mother smiled.

'What? No!' I grabbed at her hand 'I can't stay in Lewiston! I need to see my friends!'

She looked at me in disgust. 'You call them friends? You get shot and lose your child and you call them your FRIENDS!' she yelled.

A nurse gestured to my mother to keep her voice down.

'He wasn't even _arrested _for what he did!' she seethed.

Eyeball didn't get arrested?

'Where's John?' I asked looking for answers.

'At home, with his friends.' He quickly blinked. 'I asked him to stay put.'

With the Cobras? How can that be? I sat up. I hyperventilated from the pain.

'Lay down!' my mother ordered me.

'I have to use the phone!' I demanded as I flung my legs out of bed.

'Evelyn!' my mother huffed standing up, the quickly gave up as she wouldn't fight me. 'Fine!'

She helped me to my feet and dragged my IV behind me as I took small steps towards the payphones outside the ward.

I just about made it to the payphone and had to take a seat on the bench. I've never felt so weak in my entire life.

'Quickly now, then back to bed.' My mom spoke while dropping money in to the payphone.

She handed me the receiver and asked for the number. For a split second I wanted to give her my home number, I quickly changed my mind. Bad idea!

I gave her Teddy's.

No answer.

I gave her Gordie's.

'Hello?' A lady answered. I assumed it was Mrs. Lachance. I cleared my throat. 'May I speak with Gordon, please?'

'Who's calling?' The lady asked as if I were some sort of burden. Infringing on her parental laws of calling her teenage son, perhaps.

'Evelyn.' I spoke and waited.

I heard some mumbles down the phone. Mrs. Lachance didn't sound too happy.

'Ev! Oh my fucking god!' Gordie whispered.

I closed my eyes and clutched the receiver in delight. I was so glad to hear his voice.

'You okay? You're mom wouldn't let us come visit you in Castle Rock and had you moved to Lewiston!' Gordie explained.

'Is that where I am?' I frowned at my mother as she supervised me. 'Gordie, is Chris okay?'

'No.' Gordie sounded dejected. 'Not really.'

I felt sick with fear. 'Gordie?' I whispered.

'He's hurt real bad. Your brother beat him up for shooting you. He's in CEM.'

Oh my god! Chris was in hospital! 'No…' I choked. 'Chris didn't, it wasn't _him _Gordie!'

'It wasn't?' Gordie asked with a hint of relief. 'I knew it! Who did, Ev? Can you say? Is your mom listening?'

'She is.' I looked to my mother who was leaning against the payphone. 'His brother.' I whispered hoping Gordie would guess correctly.

'EYEBALL?' Gordie gasped. 'Eyeball shot you? Why? Because of Chris?'

'Yeah' I choked out. 'He did it…'

'Shit! You doing okay?' Gordie asked. 'I heard you lost the baby? I'm sorry, Ev!' Gordie spoke softly.

I tried my best to not let myself cry. 'Are you going to see Chris?' I hoped Gordie would say yes.

'Yeah, I see him everyday. He hasn't woken up yet.' Gordie was silent for a minute. 'He's real bad.'

I cried. 'I'm sorry…I'm sorry for putting all this shit on you guys!'

My mother hissed at my language. To be honest, she can disapprove all she likes, I won't let her get to me, not now!

Gordie cleared his throat. I knew he was crying too. 'Does Chris know? About the baby's father, I mean…was it Chris's?'

I whispered. 'No.' I cleared my throat. 'Ask Chris to explain when he wakes up, it's kinda…complicated.'

'I'm sorry.' Gordie sniffed. 'I will, when he wakes up…I mean, you need to rest an all…'

My mom grabbed the receiver. 'Off the phone, _now,_ Evelyn!'

I pulled the receiver back to my ear as I fought for it with my mother. 'Gordie, I'll come home soon okay! I promise! I'll come see you when I get out of here! I promise! Look after Chris for me, okay?'

I cold just about hear Gordie say 'Okay, love you Ev!' before my mother yanked the receiver off me and slammed it down into to its holder. My being sat there, shaking and sobbing hadn't induced any sort of loving motherly reaction from her. I was merely hauled back to bed by her and told to rest.

I stayed in hospital for a further two weeks before I had to go home with my mother. She refused to let me go back to Castle Rock. She even made sure that when she gave me any money that I'd spent it and _not_ save it to buy a bus ticket.

I snuck a phone call to the guys almost every two days or so. Chris was out of hospital after a month and had just about recovered. Neither Gordie, Teddy or Vern went in to detail about what my brother had done to Chris, but it was bad enough that Chris moved in with Teddy and his mom for a few weeks.

I lived I Lewiston long enough for me to have to enroll into my second year of Junior High. I hated it here! I think my mother was pretty oblivious to Ricks "trust you to get knocked up" and "did you have to pay the creep?" comments. I never did tell my mother what happened to me, because she never asked. She tried her best to keep Rick satisfied while I _intervened _in their lives for a while. I desperately missed Castle Rock, and I most desperately missed my best friends. What I didn't miss was my so called home. Sometimes I find myself weighing up the pros and cons of living back there, it's Castle Rock that gets my final vote.

It was summer, 1961 by the time I was able to scrape enough money together to buy a two-way bus ticket.

My baby would have been born the day I went back, the 14th of July.


	16. Chapter 16

Being back in Castle Rock was…. eerie. The town seemed a lot, smaller. It wasn't the whole world I thought it once was. I don't feel as if I belonged here as I once did.

I haven't spoken to any of the guys in three weeks. I hadn't even sent a letter to tell them I was coming home. Well, I wasn't planning on going home as such. I planed on returning to Lewiston tonight, before my mother figures I'd left.

It's 9:15am on a Friday. I hoped the guys would be awake. My first top was the tree house. I was a little apprehensive about walking through town from fear that anyone saw me. I couldn't have my brother or any of the Cobras finding out that I was back in town.

As I made my way up the ladder of the tree house, they weren't there. Actually, it looked as if they hadn't been here in a_ long_ time. I walked across the vacant lot towards Teddy's home. The last I heard, Chris was still living there.

I knocked on Teddy's front door. I waited. No answer.

I knocked again a little harder.

Teddy's mom's car wasn't in the driveway. Maybe they had gone to visit Mr. Duchamp up in Togus?

I tried the door knob and pressed on the front door a little. It was open.

I stepped into the dark hallway and listened for any noises to give me any sign of anybody at home.

None. Nothing.

I headed for Teddy's basement door. Hopefully he'd still be in bed.

I pulled on the door handle gently prying it open. It was dark down the basement stairs. I had to watch my step as I crept down.

I looked over to Teddy's bed. I think he was in it. The sunrays from the little window restricted my vision a little.

I grinned as soon as I saw Teddy in bed, sleeping, his dog tags hung loosely around his neck. I stepped a little closer making sure I didn't kick anything causing him to startle awake. I smiled down at Teddy asleep, he looked so peaceful. I scrunched my face a little. He'd grown! I mean, he had muscles. I felt a little odd looking at Teddy mostly naked. He never slept in his bedclothes during the summer, unless someone slept over. Unless I slept over.

I poked Teddy's bare shoulder as I grinned down at him.

Teddy patted my arm away as if I were a pesky fly.

I poked him in his chest. My God, It was like touching a man!

'Ouch...' Teddy mumbled rubbing his chest. He was half asleep.

'Teddy?' I asked softly.

'Yeah?' he answered half asleep with a sigh.

'Guess who?' I asked as I sat on my knees beside his bed.

'Mmm..' Teddy mumbled.

I grinned as I brushed Teddy's hair out of his face, it's getting long. He looks good with longer hair.

'Teddy?' I spoke softly in to his good ear. 'Are you awake?'

Teddy mumbled again.

I snorted. 'I can see your penis.' I laughed trying to shock him.

Teddy bolted out of his sleep and grabbed at his covers. 'What?' he asked looking around.

I grinned. 'Hi, Ted!'

Teddy stared at me wide eyed. 'OH MY FUCKING GOD!' he grinned.

'You awake?' I asked smiling.

'I am now!' he grinned. 'Erm…did you..?' Teddy asked making sure his private parts were covered.

'Yeah!' I joked making a shocked face.

'You bitch!' Teddy laughed. 'Go make somethin' to eat and I'll get dressed, okay?'

I pouted as I tried to make my best impersonation of Teddy.. 'Aww! Cant I watch?'

Teddy chuckled. 'If you'd have said that a few months ago…' he stopped and looked at me with a serious face.

'What?' I smiled as I stood to my feet.

'I'm sorry, Ev.' Teddy looked regretful. 'I didn't mean…'

I interrupted. 'Teddy, just be yourself, okay?' I smiled. 'Just be that obnoxious pig I love so much.'

'Sure.' he beamed as he waved me to leave.

'Who knew Teddy Duchamp was so shy?' I asked walking away.

I stood in the kitchen making toast as Teddy brushed his teeth over the kitchen sink. I think I made enough toast to feed a small family!

'Where's Chris?' I asked Teddy as he laced up his boots at the kitchen table.

'Chambers?' Teddy asked as if to make sure I was asking about the right Chris.

I shook my head at Teddy. 'How many Chris's do you know?'

Teddy stuffed a piece of toast into his mouth and mumbled something.

I looked to Teddy hoping he'd go easy on me. 'Teddy, chew, swallow, speak.'

Teddy gave me a suggestive grin as he ate.

'Is that all you think about?' I asked rolling my eyes.

'No…' Teddy laughed. '99% of the time..maybe.'

'You're sick.' I joked.

Teddy threw his arms around me. 'That's why the chicks dig me!'

I couldn't help but laugh. 'Oh, yeah! Is that so? Like who?' It felt good having Teddy hug me.

'Like… you!' Teddy stuffed more toast into his mouth.

'So.. that's..one? And counting?' I snorted.

Teddy made a face as he chewed his mouthful of toast. I ate some toast while Teddy finished tying his laces.

'Cummon!' Teddy grabbed my hand. 'We're meeting at the diner for 10am'

'What?' I was confused. 'What happened to the tree house?'

Teddy answered as he pulled me out of the front door. 'Nothing. Us guys just have breakfast in there instead of at home.'

'Since when?' I was shocked.

Teddy continued pulling on my hand. 'Since…ages ago…'

'You guys have sure grown..' I mumbled.

'You've grown.' Teddy chucked gesturing to my chest.

I faked a disgusted face. 'You're such a pig!'

As Teddy and I entered the Blue Point Diner, Chris was sat in a booth by himself. He looked well. Better than I'd seen in a long time. One thing bothered me as I walked up to him, he looked, distant.

'Chambers!' Teddy yelled as we stood next to the booth.

Chris gazed out of the window, unaware.

I looked to Teddy to see if there was anything wrong.

'Chambers you dumb fuck!' Teddy joked. 'Ev wants to talk.'

Chris stared at Teddy for a moment. 'Ev?' He asked with half a smile.

Teddy laughed. 'Yeah!' He nodded as he sat facing Chris. 'You gonna say hi or not?'

Chris looked over Teddy's shoulder as if he were blind. 'Is she on the phone?'

Teddy shot Chris a concerned look. 'What the fuck? No!'

I snorted as I stood next to Chris.

Chris must have heard me since he turned to face me with a frown. His expression quickly changed as soon as he recognised me. He sat with his eyes and mouth wide open.

'Hi, Chris.' I spoke sweetly.

Chris choked out a noise.

Teddy laughed and leant over the table shoving Chris in his shoulder.

I leant against the table and smiled down at Chris. 'I missed you.'

Chris nodded holding the same position. He was kind of making me uncomfortable staring at me.

Teddy laughed. 'Fucking say something, you wet!'

'Yeah..' Chris stared at me amazed. 'Something.'

I smiled a little nervously at Chris. He never used to act like this.

'Oh my fucking god!' Chris mumbled. 'I can't believe you're here!'

'I'm here all right!' I smiled. 'Well, until later on.'

Chris shook his head. 'No, no! You're leaving again?'

I nodded. 'My mom doesn't know I'm here.'

'You hitched?' Teddy asked with worried tone. 'Don't tell me you hitch a ride here, Ev!'

I shook my head. 'No, I bought a bus ticket.' I smiled at Teddy.

'Smart girl!' Teddy praised as he pulled me to sit next to him.

Chris nodded.

I looked to Teddy. 'Is he okay?' I whispered.

Teddy placed his hand on my shoulder. 'I think he missed you.'

'I think so too.' Chris watched me in disbelief.

Chris and Teddy ordered pancakes for breakfast. I asked for coffee. I'd been drinking a lot of coffee in Lewiston so I didn't think twice to ask. I didn't think the guys would gawk at me as if I'd taken up smoking or something, to which I haven't. Teddy babbled on about his crazy antics as I watched Chris eat. Chris noticed I was looking at him. Once in a while he'd look up and smile at me. I'd smile back. I missed him. I missed him more than I'd realised.

'Ev!' Teddy tapped my thigh.

I looked to Teddy. 'Yeah?'

'I gotta go, so move.' Teddy grinned as he shoved me.

'You're leaving?' I asked and frowned a little.

Teddy grinned. '_Oh_, I see!'

I looked to Chris questioning what Teddy was talking about.

'Teddy has to go see his dad.' Chris informed me as if Teddy had been mentioning it all morning. It was the first I'd heard.

'What time you gotta be at the bust station?' Teddy asked.

'Seven-fifty.' I smiled.

Teddy nodded as if he were mulling over his options. 'Okay. I'll try to make it back before then, okay?'

'Okay.' I smiled at Teddy as I stood up and let Teddy by.

Teddy grinned and kissed my cheek. 'See you guys later!'

I was stunned.

I stared at Teddy leaving the diner. Did he just kiss me? Like it was nothing?

'Come sit?' Chris asked patting the space next to him.

I nodded and took a seat next to Chris. I felt a little awkward being alone with him.

'You doing okay?' Chris asked as he pushed his plate forward, leaning an elbow on the table.

I nodded.

Chris looked to me a little disappointed. 'I wish you'd come back home, you know?'

'Me too, but I can't. I don't think I can live with my dad after what happened.' I paused for a moment. 'And I don't think I can live in that house again.'

Chris nodded. 'I'm sorry.'

I looked to Chris. 'No, I'm sorry. For everything! John shouldn't have touched you! I should have told my brother the truth-'

Chris stopped me. '-If you'd have told him the truth, all the Cobras would have geared up on me, Ritchie and my family.' Chris shook his head. 'It's better this way.'

'No Chris! How can you take the blame for what Richie did? It's not right! You saved me! My brother should have known you'd never hurt me!'

I scanned the diner to make sure no one heard me speaking so loudly.

'It's okay.' Chris gave a little smile. 'I'd rather him believe you were having my baby than being, hurt, by Richie.'

I exhaled deeply. 'It's not right. You shouldn't think that way, Chris.'

Chris held my hand under the table while smiling. 'All I care about is that I got you back. I don't want you to hurt anymore, Ev.'

This boy's crazy! How am I going to make him understand that his brother should be in jail? How could Chris even look at me? God knows how he can bare to touch me.

'He could have killed you, Chris.' I sniffed thinking of my brother.

'_He_ could have killed _you_.' Chris spoke of Eyeball.

I looked at Chris for a moment. He was happy. I shook my head. 'You're fucking crazy!'

Chris chuckled. 'About you.'

Now I know he's crazy! I didn't like the feeling I was having toward Chris. I was uncomfortable, and it hurt like hell having negative feelings towards Chris.

Chris and I sat and chatted for about and hour before we headed to the tree house. Chris told me the guys didn't go up there much since I went away. I thought that was a little odd. Chris didn't elaborate on why.

Chris also didn't tell me about how the Cobras beat him to a bloody pulp and left him for dead. He didn't seem to care about that. It worried me. He worried me being so jolly. I didn't have many hours until I had to catch my bus back, and I needed to know. I needed to know why he thought everything was okay.

'EV!' Gordie screamed as Chris and I approached the foot of the tree where the tree house stood.

Gordie had out his writing book. I guess the tree house was too humid to be sat inside writing.

'Oh my fucking god!' Gordie grabbed me into a tight hug. 'When did you get back?'

I was stuck in Gordie's grip. 'I'm only here for a little.'

'She's off back home in a while.' Chris told Gordie a little gloomily.

'What?' Gordie shot glances at me and Chris. 'Why?'

I shrugged. 'I took a bus. Mom doesn't know where I am.'

Gordie chuckled. 'You sneaky thing!'

I grinned back. 'I tried to call, but you weren't home last night?'

'Nah, I had errands to run, plus I'm grounded.' Gordie said sitting in his previous spot.

Chris and I took a seat in the grass facing Gordie. Chris gripped my hand tightly as if I were about to run off any second.

'What? Grounded? You?' I asked Gordie amazed. His parents didn't even notice him most of the time.

'Yeah..' Gordie chuckled flicking his hair from his face. 'I yelled at my dad…a little…about my college courses.'

'Why?' I asked amazed. As I understood, Gordie was a model invisible son.

'He told me writing's stupid, I told him it's going to be my career.' Gordie smiled at Chris. 'I'm taking it seriously. Even if people think it's a gyp.' Gordie spoke proudly.

'That's great Gordo!' I grinned. 'Finally, you get it!' I grinned over to Chris.

Chris stood up. 'Be a second!' he said heading up the tree house ladder.

'Gordie' I asked quickly leaning over a little. 'What the hell's with Chris and all this covering for his brother business?'

Gordie looked to the tree house making sure Chris wasn't within earshot. 'I know, I don't understand either. But, Teddy said a few weeks ago that we should leave him be. All he's thinking about is you. He doesn't want any other trouble. He kept saying it was easier this way.' Gordie took another glance toward the tree house. 'I don't think he can let his family get any lower being associated with you..not that you're a bad thing…you ain't!' Gordie shook his head. 'He loves you. You know that, right?'

I nodded. So I keep hearing, Gordo. 'It's not right. About his family I mean. It's not Chris's fault, it's mine!'

Gordie looked angry. 'No Ev! Chris told me exactly what you said, you were drunk, and Eyeball took advantage.'

I closed my eyes to stop the tears welling up. I don't want to talk about this, not here and definitely not right now!

'Don't blame yourself, Ev.' Gordie whispered. 'I just wish you'd have told me, you know?'

I looked to Gordie and nodded. 'If I knew all this would've happened, I might have.' I paused. 'I'm not sure how hard it's going to be on Chris. He pretends like its all okay. He's not even angry at me or anything!'

'He was.' Gordie said opening his writing book. 'He was, for a long time, but at himself.' Gordie and I looked to see Chris exit the tree house with a pack of cards. 'He failed to protect you, thought he'd lost you, now you're back…'

'Who wants to play?' Chris beamed as he plonked himself down into the grass.

I smiled at Gordie to say thank you.

'Something easy?' I asked moving closer to Chris. 'You know you beat me at scat!' I said trying to sound upbeat, to put my thoughts and feeling to one side for Chris's sake.


	17. Chapter 17

I sat at the tree house all afternoon catching up and playing cards with Chris as we chatted to Gordie. It was almost five-thirty and Vern still hadn't showed his face.

'Where the hell_ is_ he?' I asked Gordie and Chris as I stood to look over the vacant lot. 'I can't go home without seeing him.'

'Beats me.' Chris shrugged as he shuffled his cards. 'He was supposed to be at the diner this morning.'

'Cummon.' Gordie said as he stood. 'Let's go look for him.' he laughed.

'Want me to take your books up, man?' Chris asked Gordie.

'Sure, thanks.' Gordie smiled at Chris handing over his writing books and pencil.

Chris bolted up to the tree house to put away his cards and Gordie's books.

'You gonna be okay?' Gordie asked touching my hand.

I nodded. 'As long as the Cobras don't spot us.'

'Don't worry. We've been avoiding them for months. We've got it down to a T!' Gordie beamed making the letter T with his fingers.

I grinned at Gordie. My God he's adorable!

'What time is it?' Chris asked as he jamp from the bottom of the ladder.

Gordie took a look at his watch. 'Almost five-forty-five'

'Okay.' Chris said as he stood thinking. 'Let's head to the store, then to Vern's, if he hasn't been in there.'

'I can't walk through town!' I looked to Gordie then Chris. 'What if my brother's at the pool hall?'

'Yeah..' Chris said thinking of another plan.

Gordie cleared his throat. 'What if we… wait by the church? Chris, you go see if Vern's around, and then head to Vern's if he's not?' he looked to Chris.

'Yeah, yeah!' Chris nodded. 'We can cut through the old back road to Vern's. He takes that road when he's on his own..'

'Yeah' Gordie nodded.

'Okay! So let's go!' I said clapping my hands together. 'It's gonna get dark soon.'

Gordie Chris and I made our way to town. It looked a little busier than it had this morning. I was getting a little anxious with every car that passed in case it was my brother or his hood friends. Even someone I didn't know could tell John that I was in town.

As we reached the church Gordie took a seat on the bench. I was a little apprehensive of sitting down in case someone spotted us there.

'I'll run over to the store and ask Mr. Marshal if Vern has been in.' Chris said as he backed up a little. 'Be right back!' he said as he looked both ways as he ran across the street.

'Don't worry.' Gordie said as he watched me inspect the area. 'He'll only be a second.'

I took a seat next to Gordie.

'Ev?' Gordie asked.

I looked to Gordie smiling.

'You…' he started. 'You are coming back for good, aren't you?'

I shook my head. 'I don't think I can, Gordie.'

'What?' Gordie looked annoyed. 'You're going to stay in Lewiston, _for good_?'

'Yeah, sorry Gordie. I explained this to Chris earlier. I just can't live here. Not after everything that's happened.'

Gordie shook his head. 'What about us guys? You just gonna go back and make new friends, forget about us?'

I turned to face Gordie. 'No Gordie. I could never forget or replace you guys. I just can't… live here.' I sighed. 'I know you're thinking that I'll stop calling or drift away or something but I promise you, I won't!' I shook my head. 'You guys are my best friends! I can't lose you.'

Gordie touched my hand 'Ev, I hope you're right.'

I grinned. 'I am! We'll all get into Uni as we planned.'

Gordie snorted. 'You think Teddy and Vern are going to be accepted by the University of Maine?'

I shrugged. 'I'll believe that as long as it keeps us together.'

Gordie reached over and gave me a shove.

Chris yelled from across the street. 'He hasn't been in, guys!'

Gordie and I stood to meet Chris.

'Okay, plan B!' Gordie chuckled as he made his way into the road. 'Vern _better _be at home!'

Chris grabbed my hand for me to walk with him.

'Chris?' I asked staring at him as we walked.

'Yeah?' he grinned at me.

'You doing okay, in school?' I asked.

'Sure. Well, Gordie and I study almost every night. The college courses are going good. Tough but good' Chris grinned. 'How bout you?'

I nodded. 'Good.'

Chris shot me half a smile. 'Good? Is that it?'

I nodded. 'Yeah. Just making sure you're not flunking. Okay?'

Chris stopped me. 'Ev, I'm getting out of this town, even if no one believes! I'll pass those college courses!'

'What about Latin?' I smiled at Chris wanting to laugh.

Chris laughed as we continued walking. 'Yeah, I'm getting pretty good at it too!'

I nodded. I was pleased to hear.

'So, you gonna be a scientist or something?' Chris laughed. 'Sorry!' he chuckled looking at the ground.

I laughed. 'Well, Gordie's going to be a writer, I think I'll take drama or dance.' I was serious.

'Drama and dance?' Chris sounded amazed. 'What about science?'

I shrugged. 'I dunno. What about you?'

'Not sure yet. I like earth science. If I flunk Latin I'll have that to fall back on. If I don't, I'll take more Latin.'

Was he serious? Those are courses are difficult!

I blinked at Chris. 'You'd better work your butt off!'

'I am!' Chris grinned to Gordie who was staking out in front. 'Gordie's a real pal.'

'He needs you, Chris.' I smiled to Chris. 'You're the only one who believes in him.'

'He's the only one who believes in me, besides you.' Chris smiled.

Gordie stood in place staring ahead. 'OH SHIT!'

Chris and I stood still staring at Gordie. 'What is it, man?' Chris asked looking concerned.

'HIDE!' Gordie yelled looking around for somewhere to hide.

There was nowhere. We were on a deserted road.

'Oh shit!' I whispered as I saw a black '52 approach. 'Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!'

'Where the fuck we gonna go?' Chris yelled nervously.

'There's a gorge down that way!' Gordie yelled pointing over to the canyon.

Chris grabbed my arm and the three of us made a run for it.

As we reached the gorge, it was one hell of a long ways down!

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared down.

'Cummon!' Chris gestured to me as he started to climb down. He's mad! If he falls, he could kill himself!

'Hurry! ' Gordie yelled to me looking at the approaching car.

I dropped down to my knees and looked for a rock to step down. The soil was so dry I could hardly make out what was rock and what was a ball of dry earth.

'There's a bike down here.' Chris said looking down.

Great! We're hanging off the edge of a cliff and he's more interested in the bike!

'Hope no one got hurt.' Gordie said looking down.

I couldn't look down. I was using all my energy to hold onto the rock I clung to. At least I hope it was a rock!

'You okay, Ev?' Gordie shouted over.

I shook my head as I squeezed my eyes closed.

'I think they've gone.' Chris whispered after a few minutes.

'You sure?' Gordie asked.

'Yeah, man!' Chris said all cheery.

The guys climbed up as I stood still clung to my rock.

'Give me your hand, Ev.' Chris said reaching down.

'If I let go, I think I'll fall.' I said not looking anywhere but at the dry soil in front of me.

'You wont, just grab my hand.' Chris assured me.

I reached for Chris's hand as my foot started to slip.

'Trust you to wear a skirt today' Gordie chuckled.

Chris pulled me out of the gorge and I wiped the dust off my front. 'I look a mess!' I said frowning a little.

Chris and Gordie laughed, just like old times.

As we reached Vern's field, Gordie decided to go knock on Vern's front door to see if he was home. Chris and I sat in the long grass while we watched Gordie head for Vern's home.

I spotted my brothers supped up black '52 Ford in Vern's back field. Fucking typical! 'Mother fucker.' I whispered shaking my head.

Chris stared at me wide eyed. I had to take a second glance before I realized I used such crude language.

Chris laughed. 'You've been hanging out with us for _way _too long.'

I snorted. 'Sorry, Chris.'

Chris buried his head in his hands laughing.

'What?' I asked laughing as I nudged him.

'Ev, it's been a _long_ time since you've made me laugh.' Chris said slapping my knee.

'Yeah..i guess it has.' I grinned at Chris.

I looked to Vern's house to see if the Cobras, Vern or Gordie was in sight.

'Ev?' Chris asked after a second.

'Yeah?' I asked slowly as I observed Vern's house.

I hope Gordie's okay!

I hope my brother and his hood friends don't have him!

'Ev?' Chris asked again.

'Yeah?' I asked trying to stare into Vern's bedroom window.

If Gordie found him he should just come out and tell us, right? Instead of Chris and I sitting here in the tall grass worrying!

I felt a warm hand on my right cheek.

I ignored it leaning forward a little to see a shadow in Vern's kitchen window.

Chris moved a little closer blocking my view of Vern's home. I leant to my right a little so I could see around Chris, he was getting in the way.

Chris cupped my face and stared at me.

I stared into Chris's eyes. 'What?' I asked with a shrug, hoping he knew he was blocking my view.

Chris smiled at me.

I gazed all around, wondering what was going on.

Why was he knelt in front of me cupping my face? Did he know something I didn't? Was he about to unleash some horrific news on me?

Chris leant over and gently kissed me.

I stared at Chris, his eyes were closed. Chris clung to me for a few good seconds. I didn't kiss him back, I was too shocked. I was paralyzed. The only thing I could feel was Chris's lips against mine as my tummy did a complete summersault.

Chris pulled away and slowly opened his eyes. He smiled at me and let go of my face. 'I want to remember you just like this.' He blushed.

I stared ahead flabbergasted.

Chris chuckled as he patted my upper arm. 'Ev?'

I smiled and nodded as a shadow came into view.

'Were you guys kissing?' Vern chuckled.

'Vern.' I grinned up to him as I stared into space.

'Hi to you too, Ev!' Vern smiled at us both. 'What are you guys _doing_?' he sang.

I slowly came to and Chris and I looked at each other grinning.

'I get it.' Vern said shrugging as he rolled his eyes.

I stood up and pulled Vern into a hug. It'd been too long since I'd held him.

'You're so small now!' Vern said breaking out of our hug to look me up and down.

'Thanks Vern, I think.' I gave half a smile. 'You're definitely getting taller!' I laughed. Vern was starting to look a little like Billy. I hope Billy's going easier on him, or Vern could definitely do some damage.

'Gee!' Vern blushed holding my hand.

Gordie laughed shaking his head at Chris. 'Let's get out of here'

'What?' Chris asked Gordie shoving him a little.

Gordie laughed shoving Chris back. 'You _know_ what!'

Vern smiled at me and grabbed my hand pulling me in the direction of Chris and Gordie.

I wonder why Chris didn't think any less of me after what Eyeball did.

Chris doesn't even kiss like his brother does. I know! It's ridiculous comparing Chris to Eyeball, I know! To be honest, I'm not totally comfortable with Chris like I used to be. I daren't tell him though!

'You would have been a mommy by now.' Vern said interrupting my train of thought. Vern walked with me behind Chris and Gordie with his arms wrapped around my middle.

'Yeah.' I almost whispered. 'Today.'

Vern placed a hand on my tummy. 'It's kinda weird ta think that.'

I blinked a few times before I realized I'd let him touch my tummy. I wouldn't let _anyone_ touch me in months, and now Vern hand his hands on me. Why didn't I push him away? It felt weird, I wasn't completely comfortable, yet I never brought myself to push him away.

'Was it a boy or girl?' Vern asked with a smile. Only he could get away with asking something so directly absurd.

I cleared my throat. 'I was never told.' I shrugged as I reached to hold his hand. 'I guess the baby was dead, so they took it out. If I had to guess, I'd say a boy.'

'Yeah?' Vern smiled. 'I woulda thought you'd want a girl.'

I shook my head. 'I wasn't bothered.' I shrugged.

Vern glared at me for a second. 'They took the baby out? How?'

I looked ahead to watch Chris and Gordie upfront chatting. They both seemed real happy. I hope I made them happy. 'Erm..' I thought of Vern's question. 'I kinda had a caesarean, they opened up my tummy to take the baby out. I'm guessing they did it when they took out the bullet.'

To be completely honest, I was never told if the bullet hit the baby or not. All I was told by the doctor was that he/she/it/the baby was dead when I arrived at CEM. They had to take the baby out right away, dead or alive.

'They sliced open your tummy?' Vern asked making a repulsed face. 'Like, right down the middle, like Frankenstein?'

Very descriptive, Vern. 'No, I have a small hole where the bullet hit me, above my belly button. The other scar's between by pubic bones, where they took the baby out.'

Vern scrunched his face up for a moment as he digested my information. 'You know what's funny?' Vern laughed.

I gazed at Vern for a second. What could he possibly think was amusing about the situation I was in?

'Teddy's not afraid of getting shot anymore. He tol' me he still wants to go to the army, and if you can survive getting shot, then he can to.'

I frowned a little. 'What?' My baby didn't fucking survive! 'Vern..' I kept my cool smiling a little. '..You say the most ridiculous things.'

Vern looked at me smiling. 'You woulda had to push a baby outta your butt.' He grinned.

I shook my head in disbelief. 'Vagina, Vern. Not my butt.'

Vern snorted then started to laugh, which made me laugh. 'You say it like it's _normal_.'

'It's as normal as pie.' I laughed even harder. 'You say it, Vern. I dare ya, yell vagina out,_ real_ loud.'

Vern stopped laughing for a moment as he got ready to yell. Seconds later he burst into a fit of laughter. I laughed right along with him.


	18. Chapter 18

I thought I saw Eyeball across the street as we walked towards the bus station. It was getting pretty dark, so I wasn't sure. The guys didn't see, they were too busy chatting to take notice. I daren't tell them. This person's cold stare met mine as he stood under an amber streetlamp. The hairs on my arms stuck up like cold metal pins as he looked at me. He made me feel sick. I hope this guy wouldn't be telling my brother that I'm in town! I hoped to God it wasn't Eyeball or another Cobra! If there was anything more than Eyeball that scared me, it was my brother.

Teddy finally made it, I guess my praying paid off, any minute now my bus was about to pull up.

'Can I talk to you a second?' Teddy asked holding onto my arm as I stood holding my bus ticket. 'Why are you grinning?'

I grinned with a shrug. 'Vagina.'

Teddy looked at me confused for a second. 'Okay. I'll pretend you _didn__'__t_just say that…right here in the bus station..in the dark…'

'Blame Vern.' I chuckled looking to the guys. 'What did you want to talk about?' I asked with all seriousness.

Teddy gazed at me for a second. 'I'm sorry about what Eyeball did to you…' Teddy cleared his throat. 'I had time to think when I was in the car with mom…You should have told me, or one of us guys.'

At first I thought Teddy was talking about Eyeball shooting me, then I realized he was trying to talk about last Autumn.

'I don't wanna talk about it, Teddy' I swallowed hard. 'I can't.' I whispered.

'I know, I'm sorry. I just wished you'd have said something. Maybe I wouldn't have been such an asshole.' Teddy looked dismal. 'Especially when you slept over..'

I shook my head at Teddy. 'I don't want you treating me any different, Teddy.' I sniffed. 'I don't want _any_ of you guys treating me differently.'

Teddy pulled me into a gentle hug. 'I know.' Teddy whispered. 'I should have noticed, or something.'

I didn't know how to respond to Teddy. I've manage to make everyone feel like crap, and it wasn't even my fault. On second thought, it _was_my fault.

'Chris is still pretty pissed.' Teddy spoke rubbing my back.

'I know' I sniffed against his warm chest. 'He's starting to scare me a little.'

'Don't worry, okay.' Teddy pulled away from me smiling a little. 'I'll make sure Chambers doesn't do anything stupid.'

I smiled up at Teddy. 'Thanks, Teddy.' I can't get over how tall the guys are! No fair!

'Teddy!' Chris yelled over motioning for Teddy.

Three of the guys were congregated outside the bus station store discussing something.

'Oh! Oh _right_, yeah!' Teddy smiled at Chris then back to me. 'Just a second!'

I looked to Teddy. 'What's… going on?' I asked a little confused.

'You'll see.' Teddy grinned walking towards the guys.

All the guys smiled at me. 'Stay right there, okay?' Vern grinned.

'We'll be back in a second, promise.' Gordie said pushing the guys into the store.

'Okay!' I yelled. Were they buying me a gift? I don't deserve a gift!

I waited for the guys outside the store. I hope they wouldn't take long, I don't feel safe alone and I can't miss my bus! It was starting to get real dark. I checked my watch under the dim store lamp, it was almost 8pm. What the hell are they doing in there? I searched the street making sure there was no one here who'd blab to my brother that I was back in town.

'Jesus Christ, hurry up guys!' I mumbled as I paced outside the store window.

I literally jamp out of my skin when a hand grasped my mouth from behind. 'You're fuckin stupid for coming back!' a familiar voice whispered into my ear.

He quickly spun me around to face him, his hand firmly clutched over my mouth.

It was Eyeball.

I trembled with fear.

* * *

><p>EYEBALL'S P.O.V.<p>

'I should have put that fuckin bullet in your head!' I sneered staring into her deep blue eyes.

Evelyn shook her head as she looked at me with complete fear in her eyes, and then ran. I had to let go when the stupid bitch dug her fingernails into my hand, again! I chased her down an alley and into the vast woodland behind the bus station. I knew exactly what she was doing, and she had no chance of getting away from me. Not where she's runnin' to.

I watched her stumble a little as she reached a stream. I'm fucking glad she stopped! I have no idea where we are, I can't even see the streetlamps from the town from back here. I can't even hear the town from here! How far did she fucking run? A mile? Two? It's too dark to tell. I watched her as she searched around as if this place were alien to her. She's so fucking stupid! She should have run the other way, or into the store. This place has been fenced off for years. No one comes down this way. Adults get lost out here. Perfect.

She turned to me as she inched back closer to the stream. She looked around to see if there was a path safe enough for her to run. I snorted. There's no way in hell I'm letting her get away this time!

'I'm not fucking like him!' I yelled inching closer. 'I'm not goin' to jail 'cos of you!' I won't go to jail because if this lying bitch!

She inched back a little more. My boots were wet following her into the stream. The water was up to my ankles. Evelyn treaded lightly making sure she didn't stand on any slick rocks, losing her balance. That'd suit me fine. Half the work would be over with.

'YOU SHOULDA KEPT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT!' I screamed making her jump. She looked so sweet and innocent, I love scaring the shit outta her! She's just like a little ragged doll, something to be toyed with for my amusement.

Evelyn didn't say a word. I knew she was crying, I can see her wet cheeks sparkle in the moonlight as she stared at me whimpering like a lost puppy.

'You're gonna fucking die!' I hissed as I laughed to myself.

I let my guard down! Evelyn spun around to run. It was getting too dark for me to see where I was going, until she slipped and hit her head against a rock, it musta hurt like hell! I saw her reach up to steady herself, her hand was dark, wet with blood.

Ooh! Poor little baby.

Evelyn gathered herself to her knees ready to make another run for her life. I grinned. How fucking stupid is she? As she got ready to lift herself out of the water I placed my heavy boot on her back forcing her face down into the shallow stream. She coughed as she gasped for air.

I couldn't help but laugh at her stupidity. Did she honestly think she was going to win? 'No one'll fucking find you here, bitch!' I fucking hate her! 'I shoulda fuckin done it when I had the chance!' I yelled.

I do hate her! Ever since I began aching for her, she kept away from me. All I had of her was the sweet smell of her perfume that she'd leave trailing behind. Jesus Christ, did that make me want her even more! I'd practically orgasm at the thought of her. I'm not a bad guy, I'm not like my fucking brother up in county! All I wanted was Evelyn. All I wanted was to feel her warm cherry lips against mine. All I wanted was to breathe in her warm breath, to be pressed against her, to seep under her skin and make her mine again. Even if it were for one second, that's all I need. She's all I need. She's all every guy fuckin lusted after! A beautiful hourglass-figured blue eyed blond. She was the spitting image of Ace. Why couldn't she see that? In two years time, every single guy in Castle Rock, including my little shit of a brother, would have their eyes on her. They'd use her up and toss her aside like a flavorless limp piece of gum. I had a taste, just one little taste, and I wanted more. I got there first, and I can't let anyone have her, ever! Not even that little bastard brother of mine. He took everything that was mine, now I'll take what's his! See how he likes to be pissed on. He messed with me over Brower's dead body, now I'll mess with him over hers.

I shifted my weight a little giving Evelyn a chance to turn over on to her back. I had a plan and she was eating right out of my hands. 'Think you gonna get up that easily?' I grinned down at her. 'You're not that fuckin smart, are ya?' I laughed.

I kept my heavy boot on her chest as I reached down to grab a large rock. The heavier, the better. I guessed she wasn't as stupid as I thought, she started to cry.

I held up my chosen rock and played with the weight of it in my hands as I grinned down at her. This is gonna be easy, just like putting fish out of their misery, except I want her to fucking suffer before I put her out of hers! 'I'm gonna mess you up so fuckin bad, you'll wish you were dead.' I laughed. 'an you better fucking die this time!'

Evelyn struggled under my heavy foot. She was terrified, and I'm loving every fucking second of it! 'DON'T FUCKING BOTHER!' I laughed. 'This way, it'll be my little secret, how bout that?'

'YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!' Evelyn screamed.

Stupid fucking bitch! I cocked my head smiling down at her. 'I got away with fucking you, didn' I?' I laughed. 'and don't bother trying to scream this time, no one's around to hear you!'

She trembled staring up at me. Her wet eyes were fixed to my rock with fear, as if I were ready to use it.

I snorted. 'Actually, you c'un scream, it kinda turns me on.'

'You're fucking sick!' She coughed.

I grinned holding the rock up high above her head. 'Yeah, but lets keep that a secret too, huh?.'

'Please, don't, Richie!' Evelyn pleaded with me as she cried.

I'm not fucking falling for it. She can cry all she wants! 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' I sneered weighing the rock in my hands. 'See you in hell!'

I quickly place the weight of my foot onto her neck as she tried to scream. I laughed as I she clawed desperately at my boot. I pressed a little harder as she gasped for air. Evelyn closed her eyes tight.

'Oops! I lied!' he laughed pressing my boot harder onto her neck. I wasn't going to let her screams be heard.

What was that?

Was someone behind me?

I lifted my foot to turn around in search of the sound of a twig snapping. Second later I heard the rock fall into the water. Fuck! I dropped the stupid fucking rock _and_I missed!

I searched around, SHIT! Where the fuck did she go?

'Eveyn?' I sang listening for any sign of life. 'You know as well as I do you aint gonna get nowhere out there!'

I listened over the sound of the running stream. I can't hear or see a thing. Where the fuck _was_she?

'EVELYN!' I yelled. Hoping she'd gasp with terror.

Nothing.

I searched around me hoping she hadn't planned on sneaking up behind me with a rock of her own.

'Evelyn, lets cut a deal, huh?' I tried to bribe. 'Truce?' I asked as I listened for any sign of her. 'I was only playing…'

Still nothing.

I'll enjoy hunting her down. 'Even if you run, I'll find you…'

That's it! 'GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID FUCKIN' BITCH!'

My glance shot to a nearby tree. I snorted with delight as I heard a faint whimper. She wasn't that clever after all.

'I can see you, Ev' I chuckled. 'Marco!' I laughed expecting her to yell "Polo". Nothing ever goes to plan, so I'll improvise.

I snuck around the back of the tree I suspected she was hiding behind. She was there. I could just about see her beautiful silhouette in the shadows. I trod very carefully so I wouldn't scare her off. The last thing I wanted was her running off again like some poor frightened rabbit! Maybe I should take up hunting?

I took my time creeping closer and closer. She was crying and had her hand up against her mouth to control herself. I could clearly hear muffled cries as I neared her.

I let my guard down when I kicked a stone. Evelyn heard, turned to face me as she screamed and made another run for it. I chased after her only to see her silhouette fall face down into the water. She didn't move. She musta fell hard this time. Real hard.

I carefully walked through the stream over to her. I waited and watched her for a moment, she didn't move. She looked so fragile. I nudged her limp body with my boot. Nothing.

I knelt down beside her. Evelyn's long blond hair looked like liquid gold in the moonlight as the water flowed through it. You know, she's a sweet girl when she's silent. If only she kept her sweet little mouth shut, well, then we wouldn't be in this predicament, would we, Evelyn?

I can see a black shadow extending from her head as it began fading into the flow of the stream. I leant over a little to move her hair out of her face, her eyes were wide open. I touched her face, she was warm.

Dead, but warm.

'Make yourself at home, Evelyn. You'll be here 'till you rot.'

I couldn't help but chuckle.

Now I've won.


End file.
